I NEVER PROMISED THERE’D BE NO FARTIN’

I beg your pardon
I never promised there’d be no fartin’
Along with the buns whine
There’s gonna be a little stain sometimes

When you eat, that onion dip, you gotta let rip
Or you’ll blow
I beg your pardon
I never promised there’d be no fartin’

I could promise you couth, but would be untruth
People hold their noses like they just passed a sewer
So it just might stink like manure
Well, when sheet flappin’ just reminds you of poo
I might cover your head right then for a good dutch oven
That’s what I call lovin’
So smile at my style that’s so demented
Love shouldn’t be so heaven-scented
Come on don’t be scared, I’m not a lethal man

I beg your pardon
I never promised there’d be no fartin’
Along with the buns whine
There’s gonna be a little pain sometimes

I could poot you a tune or bring out the full moon
And if our bedroom shakes, I’ll hold you
And very soon let one “go” as I say “aahh” when it starts to blow
You better just get used to gas, there’s plenty to pass
And there won’t always be clothes pins there to clamp the nose
And you’ll be lighting matches about
So smile at my style that’s so demented
Love shouldn’t be so heaven-scented
Come on don’t be scared, I’m not a lethal man

I beg your pardon
I never promised there’d be no fartin’
Along with the buns whine
There’s gonna be a little stain sometimes