Your llama won't dance
And your donkey won't try to bowl
Your llama won't dance
And your donkey won't try to bowl
When Letterman's around
And your pet should start to clown
The tricks they blow
Right on the show

Well, your friends all say
That you got the most insane old hen
And your goat is so great
When he balances a plate right then
So you make a big decision
To go on the television with your wren
And you attend

Then they give you pause

Your llama won't dance
And your kitty won't spin the bowl
Your llama won't dance
And your bunny stays in his hole
When Letterman's around
And your pet should start to clown
The tricks they blow
Right on the show

You pull out all the dog treats
And beg for him to bark
They go to a commercial
Cause he whizzes on his mark
You're just about to slug him
When he cuts the cheese
There's a lens in your face
And then a guy says
"Off of my set, loser!"
Puppy, you're comin' with me
And no more T.V.

Your llama won't dance
And your parrot won't play his role
Your llama won't dance
And your hamster won't climb the pole
When Letterman's around
And your pet should start to clown
The tricks they blow
Right on the show
The tricks they blow
Right on the show
The tricks they blow
Right on the show