What good is sitting
On bikes that don't move?
Bought from a mag display
Wife uses Flab-away, it's dumb
And she's as fat today

Put down that pizza
Get off of your hooves
Time to stop eating hay
Wife uses Flab-away, it's dumb
Still she puts food away

Go run a lap, go up some stairs
Get off your butt, start exercising
The right way, no advertising

Don't keep explaining
How you're just big boned
It's just a lie you say
Wife uses Flab-away, it's dumb
And she's as fat today

I used to have a thin wife known as Penny
With whom I shared many dinners out at Denny's
She wasn't what you'd call a dainty eater
In fact it was a challenge at lunch to treat her

The day she broke the couch I thought she's go nuts
Well that's what comes from too much filling donuts
But when I saw her laid out like a whale
I knew I'd have to buy a truck stop scale
I think of Penny every day
I have to cause she's always in my way

Throw out that junk pile
It's hogging up room
And also the breakfast tray
Wife uses Flab-away, it's dumb
And she has grown since May

And as for me, and as for me
I made my mind up back at Denny's
When I die, it'll be under Penny

I'm now admitting I once was a groom
Now I am here to stay
Wife uses Flab-away, it's dumb
Abuses Flab-away , it's dumb
I hate that Flab-away