I always tend to feel woozy
When I open the fridge door
'Cause it's so moist and so cool, see
That it makes mold love to grow

Week-old pizza's gettin' moldy
Chinese takeout's turned to stone
And the steak that was once slaughtered
Is now green, fuzzy, and glows
Oh no

So I turned the fridge down colder
But the food kept gettin' old
And there ain't no way to pardon
The 'shrooms growin' on bread dough
Oh no

Mashed 'taters are alabaster
My fridge has got Lysol owned
Gonna need a death ray blaster
To break through the fungus wall

So now my fridge is lying
Out with the trash, it's gone so bad
But the trash truck dudes are dyin'
From the fumes and spores in scads

So would you like some rotten cookies?
I can start my own reality show
'Cause just Fear Factor ain't got nothin'
On the stuff that my fridge grows
Oh no