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Song Parodies -> "Urim and Thummim"

Original Song Title:

"Stairway to Heaven"

Original Performer:

Led Zeppelin

Parody Song Title:

"Urim and Thummim"

Parody Written by:

Michael McVey

The Lyrics

In the Old Testament, the Urim and Thummim were the dice Hebrew priests used to cast lots. Mormons, however, believe the term referred to the magnifying glasses Joseph Smith used to translate ancient writings into the Book of Mormon.
There's a young man who's history books glitter with gold
And he's using a Urim and Thummim
And when he reads them he knows of the people of old
With the words he can see what befell them
Woe oh oh oh oh oh
And he's using a Urim and Thummim

There's a sign in his dreams but he wants to be sure
And you know sometimes words have two meanings
´Neath the tree by the brook there were metal plates buried
That said all our churches are mistaken
Woe oh oh oh oh oh
And he's using a Urim and Thummim

There's a feeling I get when I look to the west
And the Spirit is crying for Brigham
In his thoughts he has seen a lake of salt by the hills
"This is the place, so why stand there looking?"
Woe oh oh oh oh oh
And he's using a Urim and Thummim

And it's whispered we may, if we follow the way
That the angels will lead us to godhood
And a new planet waits for those who have faith
In the wondrous Celestial Kingdom
Heed the Word of Wisdom

If there's some coffee in your cabinet,
Don't be its slave, now
Renounce your caffeine, no more hot drinks
Yes, there are two paths you can go by
and Jesus chose one
More wisdom from angel Moroni

His head is spinning and it won't stop before his eyes pop
The magnifying power's intense
Dear Joseph, can't you hear the angel and did you know
Your Urim lies next to the Thummim lens

And as we travel down the road
The Book of Mormon's for our souls
In the wood box there are big stones
That shine white light and want to show
No, all the plates aren't made of gold
And if your faith is at its best
The truth will come to you at last
You must read the Pearl of Great Price
It will give guidance to your life!
Woe oh oh oh oh oh
And he's using a Urim and Thummim

There's a prophet we're told, in the Sciptures of old
He was using a Urim and Thummim
And when he got here he guessed that the shores were blessed
With God's word his submarine made it here
Ether using a Urim and Thummim, uh uh uh
©2007 Michael W. McVey. If you play this backward, you might hear something like: "Brigham Young called Satan sweet/ And Gordon Hinckley, whose path would make us sad/ Satan gave him his kiss, kiss, kiss/ and took him to the toolshed and made him listen to (lol).

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.4
How Funny: 3.7
Overall Rating: 3.9

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   6
 5   4

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Michael Pacholek - March 19, 2007 - Report this comment
A 4 for the parody, a 5 for the closing comment. At first, I saw the title and thought this was a tribute to Uma Thurman. In fact, that's not a bad idea.
2Eagle - March 19, 2007 - Report this comment
Fine effort at satire. I think the Book of Mormon was originally meant to be fiction.
Matthias - March 30, 2007 - Report this comment
Sorry I'm a bit slow, I didn't understand pretty much all of this
Wolverine - April 04, 2007 - Report this comment
(ABC-U) Tough one to score, so I gave it 445. It was a bit off against the youtube recording I found (the whole last verse about scriptures of old wasn't there). And, I didn't want to 1 you on "Funny", but I didn't find it funny...and I don't know for sure if it was meant to be. It was topical and historical. Don't know about funny. Then again, I could have completely missed the joke.
Agrimorfee - April 05, 2007 - Report this comment
(ABC3) Too many pacing blips, and too much use of the OS lyrics. Sorry Mike.
Johnny D - April 06, 2007 - Report this comment
(ABC) This parody is in the realm of the brilliantly bizarre -- I mean, come on, who'd ever think of the ancient Urim and Thummin as a sub for Stairway To Heaven? It's a brilliant sub: the ancient Hebrews used the Urim and Thummin as a kind of "stairway" to communicate with heaven. Clever and original, Michael.
bobpiecheese - April 07, 2007 - Report this comment
(ABC3-U) Definite Random Parody of the Month Award!
Red Ant - April 11, 2007 - Report this comment
(ABC3-U) I'm honestly not sure what to make of this, Michael. It scans well to TOS, and your opening comment helped me out quite a bit. It seems to retain the feel of the original, which is a good thing.
Calzone - July 08, 2008 - Report this comment
I laughed at the whole, "If there's Coffee in your cabinet, don't be it's slave now." That was funny. And I'm mormon. The ending statement was funny to, cause it shows how stupid those people are that are like "Oh, play stairway to heaven backwards, it's satanic!". Retards. No, not 4 stars. probably 3
Newsette - October 30, 2009 - Report this comment
I hear you're looking for the Urim and Thummim, I'll give you a hint, it can no longer be found in a stone. You see, the High priest Jesus moved it inside, Where one can experience a magnetized rise.

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