A canine sinecure if he sits when he’s told
You can buy him, the scared slave-pooch Kevin
When you tell him to go to your lap, and not slow
He’ll zip up there, drool dripping to the floor
Woof, woof!
Puling, frightened is there-quails-pooch Kevin

He won’t malign the hall with stains, that is assured
He’s learned when and where to do his streaming
On a tree he’ll relieve when he’s needing a whizz
He’s well-trained, the rug will not need cleaning

Poo, that would be a blunder!
Doo shat would be a blunder!

Simply screech, “Go and get!” what you teach him to fetch
Otherwise he’ll be crying and grieving
Once he’s bought he’ll retrieve for you, bring in the sheaves
Raise your voice and he’ll be command-cleaving

Doom, if he’ll raise your rancor
You’ll have to be a spanker

He’ll not have not bitten you, he groks what will ensue
All your teachin’s taught him to be pleasin’
Before your lap he’s on, tell him to stand strong
Oh his hind legs and do some fast dancin’
“Move pooch!”

He’d better hustle when you’ve said “Go and bring it here now!”
Appeasing you is in his genes spawned
You have ordered the path he’ll go by, and when you call “run!”
He’ll do exactly that and then fawn

“Who’s a very good doggie?!
Do not make floor wood soggy!”

Errands he’s running hither and fro, so watch him go
And you can call him a good boy then
He’s racing when the whistle you blow, he won’t growl “no”
His airway whiffs as he kisses your end

Slack and meek, servile as a toad
Blind, loyal follower, his role
He’s awful craven and he shows
He’ll never bite…whines, crawling low
Your greatness he’ll always extoll

You’ll have to hit him very hard
If he flesh-chews, eschews commands
But he is at your beck and call
He’s been taught when over to ro
llooooooooooooooooooooooo

So compliant, the bare-tail-smooch Kevin