There's a lady who's sure
Every clam holds an oyster
And she's driving the expressway to heaven.
While she'd powdered her nose
And kept texting on Twitter
how'd she miss on the semi from Devon?
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he was known to be bright
An I.Q. of a million
That went AWOL when she drove her Camaro.
If she once looked at the road
'Stead of the face in the mirror
She'd have known that it was far, far too narrow.
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Why did she overtake?
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There's a sign on the door
But she wants to be sure
'Cause you know sometimes words have
Two meanings.
In the words of the bard it says
"We welcome all idiots"
She thinks:
"There is really no need to hurt my feelings".
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Ooh, Don't it make you wonder?
Ooh, it makes me wonder.
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, ooh, whoa, oh
And she bought it on the expressway to heaven.
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If there's a ding dong on your mobile
Don't be alarmed now
It's just a text for you from Macy's.
Now's not the time to text your lover
Or another
Maybe it's time to check the road your on.
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And too many people charge the road
Why they are in a hurry, no-one knows.
There drives a lady we all know
Whose mobile phone controls her show.
As from the radio comes Led,
Who follows Trucking by The Dead.
The tunes keep running through her head.
If only life was taken slow,
We could spend some more time on the go,
Instead of driving the expressway
To heaven...