If you're certain and sure
You've got lyrics down cold
Just try rhyming with "Stairway to Heaven"
If you try it you'll know
That the word count is low
Matching "stairway" and "heaven" is a chore
Ooh, ooh, if you're rhyming with "Stairway to Heaven"

So I try to recall
All the rhymes that are pure
And that don't have some obsolete meaning
Then I grab a rhyme book
For the help it'll bring
Then find there's not much help that it's giving

Ooh it makes me wonder
Ooh what a blunder

Just a couple words fit
If you haven't yet guessed
So my hopes of a phrase match are leaving
Maybe "seven" is key
Or "eleven" will be
Are those my only hopes - I'll keep looking

Ooh it makes me wonder
Ooh did I make a blunder

I hear whispers that soon
I'll abandon this tune
Then I'll pick something new within reason
But I try to go on
To finish this song
Even if I'll abandon it after

I strain the muscle in my head - d'oh!
Feeling alarmed now
I need some caffeine or a machine -
Yes, some kind of robot that makes rhymes
But that's a dream, son
There's still time to change the song I'm on

And get out from under

This effort's numbing my frontal lobe
My thinking is slow
The situation's looking quite grim
Dear Jesus, don't you know this song blows
The way it flows
The rhyming dies and then starts again

It's almost like a secret code
This monster hit of rock and roll
I need some charts like Ross Perot
To diagram the way it goes
And make the rhyming scheme unfold
But though I found it very hard
The answer came to me at last
When looking back through all my scrawls
I've chosen this one as my goal:

Tiger's driving on fairway eleven