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Song Parodies -> "Send In The Crones"

Original Song Title:

"Send In The Clowns"

Original Performer:

Judy Collins

Parody Song Title:

"Send In The Crones"

Parody Written by:

Old Man Ribber

The Lyrics

I've wanted to take a whack at this original song for a long time. Unfortunately, most of the good ideas (clones, cones, crowns, drones, etc.) have already been used by a veritable amiright who's who (AFW, JAB, Patrick, et. al.). In case any real life crone reads this and gets offended, then PLEASE...don't turn me into a frog! ;D

(Mournful english horn solo as in the original)

Staging MacBeth?
If action lags
Light up the cauldron and call
For three old hags.
Bring on the crones.

Need a grandma?
Great-grandma, too?
Someone who's withered and bent -
White hair or blue.
Get on the phones.
Send for the crones.

Someone who's stooped, shriveled, and ripe,
Someone whose looks are a match for the stereotype,
Someone to play the bad witch or an old Gypsy Queen,
Someone whose laugh's
Scary and mean.

Folks who foretell
Ruin and doom.
Folks who won't look out of place when
Riding a broom,
Just loose skin and bones.
So send in the crones
For they'll play it right.

Roles for the old
Are hard to find.
These gals don't get many parts
So they won't mind.
Just send in the crones
With wheezing and moans
But not Betty White.

Dedicated with affection to Maria Ouspenskaya (1876-1949), the definitive movie crone. ;D

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   6

User Comments

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AFW - January 24, 2013 - Report this comment
Funny in a TCTH sort of way...a parody about the Wicked Witch..from the best...loose skin and bones..wheezing and moans, heh heh..extra funny last line..
Patrick - January 24, 2013 - Report this comment
Almost forgot/My fault I fear/Just like the gals in your song/Advanced in years/Cheers from my clones.
BART-riding Bard - January 24, 2013 - Report this comment
Love it! Now hold still while I shuffle-off yer mortal fives...
John Barry - January 24, 2013 - Report this comment
Wickedly good.

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