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Song Parodies -> "Killing Children (Wanton murder)"
Original Song Title:
"Merry Christmas (War is Over)"
Original Performer:
John Lennon
Parody Song Title:
"Killing Children (Wanton murder)"
Parody Written by:
Phil Alexander
The Lyrics
A word of warning: this one isn't funny. In fact, it's probably the most unfunny thing I've ever written. I can find humour in most things, but not this.
Children die in Baghdad car bomb
I heard this on the news while driving home, and it was enough to make me pull over to the side of the road - from eyewitness accounts, the bomber intentionally drove into a crowd of children surrounding some US soldiers before detonating, killing at least 24 children. It actually makes me wish there was a hell, so this sick, murdering idiot could burn there for eternity.
Children die in Baghdad car bomb
I heard this on the news while driving home, and it was enough to make me pull over to the side of the road - from eyewitness accounts, the bomber intentionally drove into a crowd of children surrounding some US soldiers before detonating, killing at least 24 children. It actually makes me wish there was a hell, so this sick, murdering idiot could burn there for eternity.
So you kill children
It's sick, and it's dumb
Another life over
Before it had begun
You're blowing up children
And what had they done?
They never had hurt you
Those innocent young
How many dead children
Will we see this year
By suicide bombers
Who kill without fear?
And so you kill children (wanton murder)
What good have you done? (what I call it)
Just what is made better? (wanton murder)
You're so very wrong
D'you think killing children's (wanton murder)
What Allah desires? (what I call it)
You're so very stupid (wanton murder)
Believing those liars
And 'cause you kill children
[I] wish there was a Hell
So that you could burn there
Your leaders as well
And so you kill children (wanton murder)
What good has it done? (what I call it)
How many lives better? (wanton murder)
Just work it out: None.
You died killing children (wanton murder)
They'll never have fun (what I call it)
It's too late to find out (wanton murder)
You're wrong all along
So I'll cuddle my children
Again, and again
Maybe shed a tear, in
Relief it's not them
Wanton murder's what I call it...
It's sick, and it's dumb
Another life over
Before it had begun
You're blowing up children
And what had they done?
They never had hurt you
Those innocent young
How many dead children
Will we see this year
By suicide bombers
Who kill without fear?
And so you kill children (wanton murder)
What good have you done? (what I call it)
Just what is made better? (wanton murder)
You're so very wrong
D'you think killing children's (wanton murder)
What Allah desires? (what I call it)
You're so very stupid (wanton murder)
Believing those liars
And 'cause you kill children
[I] wish there was a Hell
So that you could burn there
Your leaders as well
And so you kill children (wanton murder)
What good has it done? (what I call it)
How many lives better? (wanton murder)
Just work it out: None.
You died killing children (wanton murder)
They'll never have fun (what I call it)
It's too late to find out (wanton murder)
You're wrong all along
So I'll cuddle my children
Again, and again
Maybe shed a tear, in
Relief it's not them
Wanton murder's what I call it...
Your Vote & Comment Counts
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 1 | 8 | 1 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 1 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 4 | 1 | 0 | 1 | ||||||||
| 5 | 21 | 13 | 20 |
User Comments
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Heartfelt and touching, Phil...555
sorry you had to write this one but you pulled it off sensitively...5s
I feel angry myself at the bombers who did London coming from an area I go to regularly. I saw the above story in the paper and was disgusted.
True.
Heavy-duty & heartfelt, Philbo.
Thanks, guys. It'll be a relief to get back to good ol' G&S - I've been writing too much depressing stuff recently.
The worst part, in some ways at least., is that this person really did feel that he was somehow doing something heroic. One of the mothers whose son is in the hospital said "If my son dies I will drink of Al Zaqwari's blood!" The AP is reporting that support for bin Laden is dropping throughout most of the middle east. These SOBs are trying to get a revolution going. If this continues they are gonna get just that. And they won't like it. Very well done, Phil.
What Stray Pooch said.
Well, I didn't think i was too funny... 534
Truly heartfelt work, Phil.
Dominic - if you'd read my intro, you would have realized it wasn't going to be. Like I say, I can see the funny side of most things, even "run-of-the-mill" suicide bombing, but someone who intentionally heads into a crowd of children before blowing himself up... I'm afraid my head just can't cope with how anyone can be that mind- and heartless.
[SOTM] A touching and outstanding parody, Phil 515
[SOTM] DKTOS, but a very heartfelt parody...thanks. (5's anyway)
(SOTM) Woah.
O.K. so I'm sitting at my desk in tears thanks to this one Philbo
[SOTM} Won't win song of the month, to be sure, but needs its own honor. No punches pulled here.
Sorry, Karen. And, yes Agrimorfee, I know, but I wanted to submit this one 'cause it's one of the very few truly moving songs I've written, and it's something I feel rather strongly about.
SOTM: Deep, and makes the point you were going for.
(SOTM) Reminds me of some of the Vietnam images where children were used to deliver grenades to unsuspecting American forces.
(SOTM) Truly hearfelt Phil. This is one the voting system just doesn't work. I'd give you a 20 for overall if I could, but the only real number that matters here is the death toll from this horrible act. Perhaps this story might brighten your day: "Living On Zionist Time":
http://www.darwinawards.com/darwin/index_darwin1999.html
http://www.darwinawards.com/darwin/index_darwin1999.html
Thanks for that link, Red Ant: it's a story I remember hearing a few years ago - I'm not surprised that it hit the Darwin Awards, though. Maybe it would be worth a "Make my bomb go off on time" to the tune of "Get me to the church on time" parody...
(SOTM) See above
SOTM - Not much left to say.
(SOTM) You weren't going for funny, so I rated that category on whether you accomplished what (I thought) you were going for, instead... and you were right on target. I can't help but think Lennon would very much like what you've done with his song.
(SOTM) and all in the interests of gaining a gold pass to heaven - where, ironically, when it's discovered you're stupid enough to belief the manipulative "martyr spin" and taken innocent lives to boot, no religion's heaven's going to let you in
SOTM--I don't feel like there is anything I can say to do this justice. It's just as moving as anything I've ever read, Phil...excellent work.
(SOTM) I substitued "funny" for "moving" in voting for this. Very few songs move me like this did... very well done.
(SOTM) Still a great example of the power of parody.
(SOTM) See above.
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