Number Two Pencil

Now they're writin' new stories with all evil guys
No happy endings, and everyone dies
But if you want to write yourself a nostalgic page
Jump right up and show your inner sage

Oh, get yourself a number two pencil
The Chattahoochee kind
A two toned, college-ruled, five-subject planner
And mechanical pencils would be just divine

I remember readin' fantastic stories
Heroes an' villains with very few worries
Oh, if I only had a number two pencil
Then I could write some mysteries too

Then it's Na-No ... Wri-Mo … jottin' so fast
Writin' with a pseudo i.d.
Yeah, spend all my extra spare time, thinkin' up a plot-line
But only 'stablished writers get interviewed in prime-time

Yeah, I wish I had a number two pencil
Then I could write some mysteries too

And it's a cramped-up, wound-up, writer's cramp feel
Lyin' on the livin room floor (so sore)
And writers' camps'll teach ya, how ta write yourself a featchya
But writin' down those words can be such a bore

Yeah, and now I'm grown old, and I don't really care
If I don't know my name, and I don't have my hair
And maybe now I know I'm not really all there
But that's the way that it has to be

That's why I wish I had a number two pencil
The Chattahoochee kind
A two toned, college-ruled, five-subject planner
And mechanical pencils would be just divine

Oh, I could make it be what I want it to be
Maybe erotic fiction or the old fantasy
If I only had a number two pencil
Then I could do some writin' too

Yeah, word-pad a little tab'll do ya
Oh, I could do some writin' too