Now they make new shows in HDTV
With a picture that's a little more clear
So, if you find yourself in that real modern age
Honey, jump right up and show your age

I wish I had a degree from Penn State,
The business management kind,
A two - toned Ricky Ricardo jacket,
And an autographed picture of Alex Trebek

Oh, I remember being buck toothed and skinny
Writing fan letters to my music hero Jimmy
Oh, I wish I had a degree from Penn State,
Then I could solve some problems, too

Oh, it's Georgia, Florida, growin' up fast
Sippin' beer at age eight
And the game shows to watch were always on in daytime
But rarely any men were watching any of those
Yeah, I wish I had a degree from Penn State,
Then I could solve some problems, too

But then it's talk shows, tabloid shows, riots all around
Sleeping on my bedroom floor
They sent me off to college to gain a little knowledge
But all I wanted to do was be more social
Yeah, I'm now a little older, but don't mind me
I don't drink at all, and I don't plan on doin' any more;
But I plan on having a wife and kids of my own,
Just the way my mom and dad did

That's why I wish I had a degree from Penn State
The business management kind
A two - toned Ricky Ricardo jacket
And an autographed picture of Alex Trebek

Oh, I could be anything I wanted to be
Maybe as a teacher or as a game show host
If I only had a degree from Penn State
Then I could do some cruising, too

Yeah, Brylcream, a little dab'll do yah,
Oh, I could do some cruising, too