skating on thin ice, pizza is so nice
all of these athletes and not one is paid
what a conundrum, passing out condoms
what are they here for? compete or get laid?

wasting a day again in old turinoville
waiting for the bobsleds to fall
some people claim that there's new drug tests to blame,
I don't know, they just don't seem so fast

don't know the reason, for winter sports seasons
all of them trying for medals of gold
advertisement whoredom, spectator boredom
I sit and wish for the good days of old

wasting a day again in old turinoville
waiting for the bobsleds to fall
some people claim that there's new drug tests to blame,
I don't know, they just don't seem so fast

I play the piano, and dream of Nagano
faster skaters and chicks not so cold
some wore white vesties, some others had testes,
results of steroids, or so I've been told

wasting a day again in old turinoville
waiting for the bobsleds to fall
some people claim that there's new drug tests to blame,
I don't know, they just don't seem so fast

I'll finish this rhyming, with impeccable timing,
down to the thousands of seconds I'm sure
so if you will score it, I hope you adore it,
3.65's a mark not so poor

wasting a day again in old turinoville
waiting for the bobsleds to fall
some people claim that there's new drug tests to blame,
I don't know, they just don't seem so fast