Japan got it's legends
Independents got Alums
And the WWE got Vince McMahon
He a cool promotin' son of a gun
Yeah, he fair and smart as a man can come
But he slicker than a ol' lip gloss
And when the mat folks all get together to fight
You know they all call Ol' Vince 'boss'...just because

And they say
You don't tug on The Nature Boy's robe
You don't spit into the ring
You don't pull the mask off the Big Van Vader
And you don't mess around with Vince

Well outta south Atlanta come a country boy
He said, 'I'm lookin' for a man named Vince
I am a TV mogul boy
My name is Teddy Turner
But down home they call me Ted
Yeah I'm looking for the king of Wrest-le-ma-ni-a
His rasslin' company makin' me shout
Last week's ratings cost me money
And it may sound funny
But I come to buy his slick ass out

And ev'rybody say 'Ted, don't you know that
You don't tug on The Nature Boy's robe
You don't spit into the ring
You don't pull the mask off the Big Van Vader
And you don't mess around with Vince

Well Ol' Ted started buyin' wrestlers
And then went on a winning streak
But when the Stone Cold 'arrived'
Again Ol' Ted was deprived
And was forced to sell out in defeat
Yeah he was beat in 'bout a hundred places
And cancelled in a couple more
And you better believe
Teddy sang a different kind of story
When Vinnie sent him out the door

And they say
You don't tug on The Nature Boy's robe
You don't spit into the ring
You don't pull the mask off the Big Van Vader
And you don't mess around with Vince

Yeah Teddy you got no clout
Vince bought YOUR ass out
Took his wrestling people back home too
Even paid you a lot less then what you thought was market value, yeah

You don't tug on The Nature Boy's robe
You don't spit into the ring
You don't pull the mask off the Big Van Vader
And you don't mess around with Vince