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Song Parodies -> "Salmon"

Original Song Title:

"Shannon"

Original Performer:

Henry Gross

Parody Song Title:

"Salmon"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

One of the great mysteries of life: why are salmon?
One fish's life is at end
Time to raise my eyebrow again
I can get swimmin' back up the river
Headin' back to your birthplace
But maybe there's a better way
For all of those eggs to get delivered

Salmon are nuts, why not just (ah-ah) all live in the sea (ah-ah-ah)?
Or maybe stay there in that lake (ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah)?
All of this fishy climbin' (ah-ah) makes no sense to me (ah-ah-ah)
I guess to them, it's not that hard (ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah, ah-ah)

It's a regular event
Which is not pretty for them
To deal with eagles, bears and sport fishers
"I'm tryna breed and then up and die
Eat me then, you impatient shites!"
That's what they'd think if they were thinkers

Salmon are nuts, spit in the (ah-ah) face of gravity (ah-ah-ah)
To fart out eggs and pass away (ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah)
So to answer you, I would (ah-ah) love a plateful, please (ah-ah-ah)
Apologies, I'm kinda starved (ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah, ah-ah)
And my brain really sidetracks hard

Ah-ah-ah-ah
Ah-ah-ah-ah
Ah-ah-ah-ah (oh-oh-oh)
Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah

"See, when you come out of those up-tempo goddamn numbers, man, it's impossible to make those transitions, and then you gotta go into somebody dying. You know, they do this to me all the time. I don't know what the hell they do it for, but God damn it if we can't come out of a slow record. I don't understand it. Is Don on the phone? Okay. I want a goddamn concerted effort to come out of a record that isn't a fucking up-tempo record every time I do a goddamn death dedication! Now make it - and I also wanna know what happened to the pictures I was supposed to see this week! This is the god-last goddamn time. I want somebody to use his fucking brain to not come out of a goddamn record that is, uh, that’s up-tempo and I gotta talk about a fucking dog dying!"

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