Hello, honey, it's me. What did you think when you heard Dog talkin' on the radio?
What did the kids say when he screamed at their perplexed Daddy-O?

Remember Mel Allen on the radio, and I said, "That's the place to be."
And how I got the Long Island station job the day you married me?
It was off to the big-city drive-time slot, but now my head's spinning around.
It's 13 years with this maniac, and he's really, really got me down.

I am the drive-time co-host on WFAN
and I'm hearin' the Mad Dog go off the deep end again.
The afternoonin' voice on AM 66
hearin' Dog's verbal skydive talkin' 'bout the Knicks.

The talkin' he did 'bout the Jets' last game made me feel real low.
They let the ball drop to the ground when Chad let it go.
So we drifted on down to Madison Square Garden to do a live-shot talk-show.
And we talked about how we always lost to the Bulls of Chicago.
And Dog yells through his nose.

I am the drive-time co-host on WFAN
and I'm hearin' the Mad Dog go off the deep end again.
The afternoonin' voice on AM 66
hearin' Dog's verbal skydive talkin' 'bout the Knicks.

We've been makin' extra-money openin' new strip malls
at the Sports Authority.
You should hear Dog talkin' to the little children
screamin' like an old banshee.

I got a pair o' cans on my head, beggin' for a sports update.
Joe from Nutley's on the phone, 'bout the Giants he will moan
and I'm never gonna clear my plate.

Sometimes I get this crazy dream, I drive the Yanks' bullpen car.
But as long as they pay me big bucks here, I'll stay with Dog where we are.
I've been thinkin' that we should watch the Rangers, and ask who's minding the store?
But the Broadway Blues, they always lose, 'cause they don't know how to score.

OK, honey, I see. I guess it can only be me.
Sure, old girl, I understand. Toleratin' Dog, it won't be no other man.
(WFAN! WFAN! WFAN! WFAN!)

I am the drive-time co-host on WFAN
and I'm hearin' the Mad Dog go off the deep end again.
The afternoonin' voice on AM 66
hearin' Dog's verbal skydive talkin' 'bout the Knicks.

I am the drive-time co-host on WFAN...
WFAN... WFAN... WFAN...
(repeat 'til fade)