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Song Parodies -> "Piano"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Harry Chapin

Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

I love merged parodies. Keep in mind that both "Taxi" and "Piano Man" came out during the Nixon Administration, so this does not take place in the present day.
(instrumental opening)

It was nine o'clock in L.A.
A regular crowd shuffled in.
An old man came in and sat down next to my bench
making love his tonic and gin.

"Oh, son, can you play a memory?
Though I'm not really sure how it goes.
It's a sad, sweet song and I knew it full
when I wore a young man's clothes."

Now, John at the bar's a friend of mine.
He lets me do my drinking for free.
He's quick with a joke and a lighter
but there's someplace that he'd rather be.

He said, "Hey, Bill, I believe this is killing me."
And the smile ran away from his face.
"Well, I'm sure that I could be a movie star
if I ever got out of this place."

And they say, "How are ya, Billy?"
They come to know me after a year.
Through the too-many songs and life's too-many wrongs
they know I will be here.

Paul's a man who sells real estate.
That's how he can pay for drinks at this bar.
He's never had the time for a wife, but he's tried.
His trying never got very far.

You see, he was gonna write some novels
and I was gonna rock and roll.
He sat down to write best-sellers.
I sat down to make gold.

Oh, I've got this friend named Davey
who's in a bit of a bind.
He's a burned-out pilot in Navy, you see.
He is the lifer kind.

Oh, I've got a friend who's a waitress
who's practicing her politics.
And she's been waiting to come to an end
of Richard Nixon's dirty tricks...

(Baby's a waitress who's hoverin'
'cause McGovern had such a fall.
I'll tell you who should be governin':
"We the people"... aren't we all?)

There was not much more for them to talk about
the businessmen who slowly get stoned.
Yes, they share a drink called "loneliness"
but it's better than drinking alone.

And each Saturday night they get together
all these people, it's what they arrange.
And one hands me twenty dollars for a 2:50 song
and says, "Billy, nice chord change!"

The piano sounds just like a carnival
and the microphone smells like a beer
and they sit at the bar and put bread in my jar...

and say, "Man, what YOU doin' here?"

And the manager smiles in silence.
It's strange how you never know.
I guess that I got what I'd asked for
such a long, long time ago.

You see I was gonna be a rock star
and make the words and melodies fly.
I took off to find the footlights
and people who would cheer this guy.

And here, I'm playing piano.
This lounge in L.A. is my home.
And me, I'm loved by these barflies
taking tips and getting stoned.

I was aiming so high...
now I'm stoned.

(instrumental fadeout)

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 4.0
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   3

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

alvin rhodes - August 28, 2006 - Report this comment
smooshes well
TJC - August 28, 2006 - Report this comment
Verisimilitudinous, a nice twist!
Michael Pacholek - August 28, 2006 - Report this comment
Either TJC likes it, or he's seen "V for Vendetta" as many times as I have! Either way, thanks, TJC!
Meriadoc - August 29, 2006 - Report this comment
Aaaargh! I am sure it is excellent, but I can't stop hearing Piano Man as I read it... :-P

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