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Song Parodies -> "Toxic"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Harry Chapin

Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

According to the site search, this is the first parody here based on this song. I wonder what took everybody so long. Lemme set it up for you: It's April 21, 2016. At Yankee Stadium, Alex Rodriguez, the 40-year-old third baseman of the New York Yankees, hits his 812th career home run, breaking the record set by Sammy Sosa. Meanwhile, 2,300 miles to the west, a formerly famous couple reunites.
It was way too hot in Vegas.
I needed on emore fare to make my night.
A lady up ahead waved to flag me down.
She got in at the light.

"Oh, where you goin' to, my lady blue?
Are you off to meet a gentleman friend?"
She just shook her head slowly
and said, "Take me to the Desert Inn."

Something about her was familiar.
I could swear I'd seen her face before.
But she said, "I'm sure you're mistaken."
But I know I once knew that whore.

It took a while, but she looked in the mirror
and she glanced at the license for my name.
I could see her lips movin' as she's readin'
and I tell ya, it was such a shame.

And she said, "How are you, Jason?"
I said, "How are you, Brit?
Through the too many miles and the too little smiles
I recall you, ya twit."

It was somewhere in a fairy tale.
An old friend in a Las Vegas bar.
We learned about love that was eighty-six proof.
The lesson went a little too far.

You see, she was gonna be a singer
and I was gonna learn to fly.
She took off most of her clothing.
I took off for the sky.

Oh, I've got somethng inside me
to drive a pop princess blind.
I'm not Justin, I'm not that Limp Bizkit guy
but not much better in mind.

Oh, I've got something inside me
not what that girl's about.
'Cause I was a last-ditch effort to
keep her fame goin' 'til it runs out.

Baby's so drunk that she's falling.
And she's stalling in chapel hall.
I'll tell you why baby's shaking.
'Cause she's faking. Aren't we all?

There was not much more for us to talk about.
Whatever we had once was gone.
So I turned the cab up to the hotel
as came to Nevada's dawn.

And she said, "We must get together."
But I knew that it would be too strange.
Then she hands me thirteen dollars for a twelve-fifty fare.
She said, "Jason, keep the change."

Well, another man might've been angry.
And another man mighty've been mad.
But another never would've let go.
I knew she was really sad.

And she walked off to her new gig.
It's strange how you never know.
But we'd both gotten what we'd asked for
such a long, long time ago.

You see, she was gonna be a singer
and I was gonna to learn to fly.
She took off most of her clothing.
I took off for the sky.

And here, she sings her oldies
for blue hair and balding men.
And me, I'm flying kinda toxic.
Oops! I did... it again.

Hit me bayyyy... by one more.... time again...
And in her act, Britney, now 34, strips down to a bustier with a "George P. Bush for President" button. But he doesn't have a chance against President Landrieu.

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.7
How Funny: 3.3
Overall Rating: 3.3

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   2

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Michael - February 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Thank god this wasn't another Britney Spears parody
Michael - February 19, 2004 - Report this comment
OMG I'm an idiot this is a britney spears parody
Not N'Sync - February 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Who's Jason?!! I thought Brit was dating Justin Timberlake!
Rufus X - February 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Way too much original lyric in this to pass for a real parody. Just a few original lines does not make for a parody. Can't really judge pace due to the amount of original lines from the original song. Where is the challenge here? Humor was becoming though, becoming scarce that is. Can't give this one any more than three's at best, that is if I would even vote for this feeble excuse for a parody. This is a Tueday effort for a Sunday meal.
mac - February 19, 2004 - Report this comment
The critics are way too harsh here. Since you're telling the same story, just with different characters, there's no need to change all of the lyrics.

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