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Song Parodies -> "I'm In America Land"

Original Song Title:

"We're An American Band"

Original Performer:

Grand Funk Railroad

Parody Song Title:

"I'm In America Land"

Parody Written by:

Andy Primus

The Lyrics

Poutin’, I showed my naughty ways
Last night a leather frock…it’s a sinner phase
Sweet, sweet money: I’ve got it all stacked
I do the pole show an’ that unnatural act
Strip all night…a steady fling
I’m hot: a belle who pokey’s her thing
Views of ladies…peep delight
My thong is full of dollars: what a show tonight

I’m in America land
I’m from Armenia land
I’m scammin’ this poor clown
He’ll help my panties on down
An’ then I’ll charge him a grand

Four hung bricklayers come in the bar
An’ offer me a grand in return for a blow
I’m squealin’ good, sealin’ tight an’ I’m not gonna bite
The last is defective…he’s so limp tonight
Now these nine welders…I’ve got a plan
I’m not that discreet…got boys in my hand
I thought…comin’ dudes…I’ll tug upon
Then I proceeded to bare and bend well down

I’m in America land
I think a merkin is grand
I’ve got one blue an’ brown
As soft as parakeet down
Once on a muff’ll be spanned

I’m in America land
I’m kinda flexi an’ tanned
They bust the club door down
They haul us right across town
No visa: bet I’ll be banned

(guitar solo)

I’m in America land
He wants a tip of a grand
This cop’s a piss ant clown
I’d like to see him go drown
His ways are well underhand

I’m in America land
It’s now a bit outta hand
He’s gone an’ locked us down
I hate this crummy ol’ town
Not workin’ out as I planned

I’m in America: panned (boohoo)
I’m in America: banned (boohoo)
I’m in America land (boohoo)

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   11

User Comments

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Fiddlegirl - August 05, 2009 - Report this comment
Hmmm... well... gosh... ;)
AFW - August 05, 2009 - Report this comment
Yay for America....and yay for this parody
Christie Marie M - August 05, 2009 - Report this comment
You brought the red, white, and blue to this parody! This tells all about America today! I can imagine GFR sing this parody of yours! 555!
Mark Scotti - August 05, 2009 - Report this comment
A salute from the Brits! Great one, Andy!!! Fives...
Guy - August 05, 2009 - Report this comment
Andy - You sure the OS band was not "Hot Spunk Railroad"? =;-) I like your GFRR parodies so far - will there be more? You do this OS very well. Too bad La Migra grabbed up the Armenian girl - I had about three 5 spots to tuck into her string. "La Migra" is Tex-Mex speak for immigration. I have a funny and true story for you about La Migra.

When I was in the USAF I worked with a retired Chief Master Sargent. He was a big ol' boy from Arkansas and had been around the block a few times and then some. He was in the Intel field so he would go overseas for an assignment and then always move back to the same Air Force Base in San Antonio, Texas. He started his USAF career in 1957 and at the time bought a house on the south side of San Antonio. There is a large Mexican community in that area and he knew a lot of them since he owned that house for over 40 years when I worked with him.

He was working for a contractor named "ISN" at the time under contract with the USAF. His name was Dwight Day. Dwight also collected cars over the years and had about 7 or 8 clunkers. He had a car that got hit by another one so he just got this old local to work on the car. Anyway the local had his car for about three weeks. Dwight called him and left a message. Another week went by and still no word from the local. Dwight called him again. . The guy answered his phone this time. Dwight asked him why he didn't return his call. The local said that he left a note in Dwight's car and wanted to know if Dwight saw it. Then in that old Arkansas accent of his he said that there was a small piece of paper in his car that said "col mi" - translation "Call Me".

Dwight then decided to go over and see what was going on with his car. The car had a bent frame. The local had two chains. One around the front axel that was wound around an oak tree, the other around the back axel hitched to a wrecker. That old boy was trying to use the wrecker to unbend the frame by jerking the car against that tree using the chains. Dwight shook his head and went back to work - he was on his lunch break at the time.
Guy - August 05, 2009 - Report this comment
Andy - the message was truncated - luckily I wrote it on Notepad just in case - the story continues now to conclusion:

That evening Dwight called the guy with his car and told him that he was coming over right now to get his car. So it was early evening when Dwight arrived. He had his company hat on - a baseball cap with the company letters on the front "ISN". Dwight said he got out of his car and all he heard was "arriva arriva La Migra! La Migra!" and all he saw was butt holes and elbows. He said that about thirty men cleared the property witin seconds. They mistook the ISN for INS which means Immigration and Naturalization Service. The only person left was the guy working on his car. "La Migra" seems to be the only thing that scares illegals. Well that's the story - Dwight was a colorful person and I could go on all night teling stories about his life. But that "La Migra" story had me in tears laughing so hard when Dwight told it.
TJC - August 05, 2009 - Report this comment
Very interesting vignette-o-spoofin' and E Pluribus toonin!
alvin - August 05, 2009 - Report this comment
large american fives for you
TT - August 06, 2009 - Report this comment
So, none of this happens in the UK? How dull and boring it must be! :-) ... makes me proud (and grateful) to be an American! lol. Here's a tip for you of £326.855 (that's 555 USD $)
Andy Primus - August 06, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks Fiddle, AFW, Christie, Mark, TJC & Alvin
Guy (done with GFR for now, too many other ideas waiting - funny story btw)
TT (only difference here is that our lowest bank note is £5 so we don't get the same value for money as you do)
TT - August 08, 2009 - Report this comment
Use coins. Put a pence in her pants and a schilling for a thrilling (or a drilling, if she's willing).
Andy Primus - August 08, 2009 - Report this comment
TT - You've got to splash the cash if you want the gash to flash. It makes no sense for the gents to commence with the pence. You won't see the muff in the buff without enough of the green stuff. There'll be no whore an' domination with a poor denomination.
TT - August 10, 2009 - Report this comment
Will she go down for a crown?
Andy Primus - August 10, 2009 - Report this comment
TT - don't know but she'll show you her minnie for a guinea

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