the legend lives on from the raccoons on down
with my trees looking like they've been knurled
the cause it is said, is a rodent's little head
it's the common american squirrel

I closed the shed door, when there was only four
but the breeding began shortly after
I think they had fun, furry oven with a bun
and they always made love with some laughter

I watched through the glass, at the squirrel's little ass
as it chewed through the lines that fed power
and later on that night, in the dar there wasn't sight,
to fix it took nearly an hour

as supper time came, the little bastards came in,
and squeaked back and forth to get busy
they drank some of my wine, and chewed my desk made of pine
and then drank some pop that was still fizzy

my wife let out a scream, and dropped the ice cream,
as the rodents converged on her figure
I rushed myself right in, and created such a din,
as she bounced around looking like tigger

I grabbed one by the tail, and it started to wail,
as I threw it up, down and then slapped it
the microwave door kept him screaming some more
as I entered some time and then zapped it..

I watched it howl and squeal, and it really revealed
that the viets are right to eat rat meat
and the other eight or nine, made it out double time,
as I danced to a little old rap beat

I took him out of there, and peeled off the hair,
and the meat was not much I remember
but with a little sauce, and a salad I just tossed,
the flesh dinner, seemed perfectly tender

does anyone know where the love of god goes
when a rodent gets eaten by Malky
and later on that night, after showering just right,,
I went to bed, showered and talc-y

the very next day, I was astounded I say
as the rodents amassed for a service
a funeral pose, and I ran and got the hose
and the "funeral rodents" looked nervous

I threw out the remains, it was very plain
that they thought I was sick, and some hurled
but now the house is clean, if you know what I mean,
but my backyard is now full of squirrels