the legend lives on from the Sally Ann down
to the people now destitute, homeless
we feed them some wings from the poultry bird things
and for those with no teeth, we get boneless..

we left from our yard and we piled into the car
for the short drive to sing to the houses
we rolled up our sleeves, twas Christmas eve,
not a creature was stirring, not mouses

we opened up the choir, and we were on fire
as we belted out good old king wencelas
the sad fairy tale of that poor guy made us wail
on the next feast of steven, defenceless...

the first bad sign was after some wine
when we sang pretty bad, without tuning
and the second house strife was involving a knife
shut up he yelled, or I'll be pruning

the next street we roared, as the wine was always poured
as we sang of the Lord in the manger
the residents there were all armed, and in pairs
and we knew right then and there we're in danger

we moved right along, to the very next song
some old ballad about old Saint Nick'las
so shut the hell up, you sound worse than my pup
yelled the fellow we all knew as Dickless...

as we sang several more, at the next people's door
all the lights were turned off in a hurry
and we looked in the sky, and we then knew just why..
there were reindeer all brown, clean and furry

and we heard a big kapoof as it landed on the roof,
and it woke up near half of Atlanta
because there in our eyes, was the big old red guy
we all know him and love him as santa

and we heard a muffled crack, and we thought it was his sack
as he panted, and groaned, and he grunted
he passed out all the toys to the girls and the boys,
keeping track of what everyone wanted

I showed him the milk, and touched his suit of silk
so tight, very fat, with no "nookies"
and his belly got filled by the milk that was chilled,
as he gobbled up all of the cookies

he flew I guess you'd say, but not too far away
as he landed on one big unlit house
and as the crap was on his nose, santa shouted out in prose.
I said "Rudolph! now land on the SCHMIDT house.....

he cleaned up all his loot, and sat on his patoot
as he gathered more toys for the evening
and he took a little pause, as mom kissed santa clause
and he ho ho's more times before leaving...

does anyone know where the reindeer all go
when the night flying times are all over
do they have a little hole, in the frigid north pole
as it is only one night they are rovers..

I really don't care if you hear anywhere
of the legend that people call santa
I believe him every day, 'cause he brought me a ray
and I don't mean a gun, I mean Manta

and now my little fish does a-splash and then a splish
underwater, he is quite a stunter
with his stinger on the tail, he can make a human wail,
and his cousin killed the crocodile hunter

I'll close this little song with a verse that's kinda wrong
and the rhymes just a little too easy
if this song is only halfed, mac and cheese made by Kraft
is my dinner, now I'll go eat cheesy..