-> "The Wrecks On My Deadened Toshiba"
Original Song Title:
"The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald"
Parody Song Title:
"The Wrecks On My Deadened Toshiba"
The Lyrics
The legend lives on from Bruce in Freehold town
of the channels, he counts fifty-seven.
And still nothing's on, programmers' taste is gone.
And if ignorance is bliss, they're in heaven!
With a load of bullcrap onto our screens they slap
really stupid shows from their producers.
Reality, it seems, is not stuff of my dreams.
I can walk outside to see me some losers!
These schemes are the pride of Manhattan's East Side
in Black Rock and in Rockefeller Center.
They think we're all dopes as the write opera soaps
with some evil twins of both the genders!
And Fox, they're so shrill with the "King of the Hill"
and "The Simpsons," not so analytical.
And, please, boys, no more of that sick "24!"
I'd almost prefer your stuff political!
(Well, almost.)
To escape from this mess, I try old PBS
but what they've got is repeat of "NOVA."
It felt like I'm drugged, and now I'm feeling bugged
'cause their "Nature" show on ants ain't ovah!
So cable I try, but I gave a great cry,
"Can't watch YES, 'cause this ain't baseball season!"
Try ESPN, but there's poker again!
Why no real sports, guys, what is the reason?
Don't like current news, but there's History's views
but again I can't make myself sit there.
Once again I must view old stuff from World War II.
Like I care about drugs used by Hitler!
Even on TV Land, the programming is bland.
Dick Van Dyke's not what I want on dial.
And oh, woe is me, when I watch Court TV
feels like I'm the one who is on trial!
I switch back to Fox, am I dumb as an ox?
There's the rantings of old Simon Cowell.
Some fat kid, he sings that bad song, "Broken Wings."
Even Paula Abdul has to howl!
But sometimes he's right, and we're sharing his plight.
The songs sound like they come from the sewers.
And all that remains is the faces and names
of the poor unsuspecting show viewers!
"Lake House" on FX, inferior flicks
like that three-hour tour of "Titanic."
Seems it never ends, and it might make more sense
if I watched it on channel Hispanic!
And farther below, on HBO
there's old Tony Soprano a-whacking.
And some say this show is a great way to go
but some common sense is very lacking!
In a musty old room in New Jersey I gloom
over bad sitcoms and badder divas.
My remote control whines, it clicks eighty-nine times
for the wrecks on my deadened Toshiba!
The legend lives on of the ratings gone down
and the big clicks those from wretches to me.
Superior, I've said, they are not, use your head.
Keep on watching and you'll feel quite gloomy!
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Voting Results
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Pacing: | 4.3 | |
How Funny: | 2.6 | |
Overall Rating: | 2.6 | |
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Total Votes: | 25 |
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| | | | Pacing | | | How Funny | | | Overall Rating | |
| 1 | | 1 | |
| 15 | |
| 15 | |
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| 2 | | 0 | |
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| 3 | | 2 | |
| 0 | |
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| 4 | | 10 | |
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| 5 | | 12 | |
| 10 | |
| 10 | |
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