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Song Parodies -> "If You Would Beat My Hind End"

Original Song Title:

"If You Could Read My Mind"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Gordon Lightfoot

Parody Song Title:

"If You Would Beat My Hind End"

Parody Written by:

Malcolm Higgins

The Lyrics

if you would beat my hind end,
what a thrill those marks would leave
just like a whipper snipper
on my arm yeah all the marks it'd leave
in a dungeon dark, or a rack so long
the pain is my release
it frees the inner me
and I will never be set free,
till the s and m is brought from inside me

if you would beat my hind well,
what a thrill you'd be to me
just like a scrambled egg dish
beat me round with a whisk you see
when you reach the part where the blood will come
then treat me medically
pour on alcohol
and you won't use that stick again
cause the sight of blood's too hard to take

I always feel like a movie star
who gets burned with wax and whipped
enter number two, my dominaqueen
creates a scene of bringing all the dark things out in me
but for now, pain is just surreal

I never thought I could be this way,
and I got to say, I love pain, do you get it?
I don't know where my mind went wrong,
was it wearing thongs? but I just have lost my track

if you would beat my hind end,
what a thrill those marks would leave
just like a whipper snipper
on my arm yeah all the marks it'd leave
in a dungeon dark, or a rack so long
the pain is my release
it frees the inner me
and I will never be set free,
till the s and m is brought from inside me

I never thought I could be this way,
and I got to say, I love pain, do you get it?
I don't know where my mind went wrong,
was it wearing thongs? but I just have lost my track

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 3.0
Overall Rating: 3.5

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
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 2   0
 1
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 3   0
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 4   1
 1
 1
 
 5   1
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User Comments

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Red Ant - November 07, 2005 - Report this comment
Malcolm, I had trouble getting several lines to scan. Good job on this OS, though I'm afraid you only get 12 lashes instead of 15.
Paul - April 21, 2007 - Report this comment
This is great, have you recorded it?

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