-> "The Lesson of Baseball and Football"
Original Song Title:
"The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald"
Parody Song Title:
"The Lesson of Baseball and Football"
The legend lives on from the stadium on down.
We're the fans, games can't go on without us.
These two forms of sport, the most popular sort.
What do you think that this says about us?
Baseball, you see, is 19th Century.
It's a game that is very pastoral.
But football, in turn, is a struggle modern.
Technological, it ain't so moral.
Baseball is played in a park, very staid.
But football's played on a gridiron
in a stadium named for veterans of a war
where the bullets and shells, they were firin'.
Baseball begins in the spring when it seems
there's new life and sun is all shining.
The start of football, it will come in the fall
when the leaves and other things are dying.
Baseball is calm even when there's a storm
but in football, there's stress and there's terror.
In football, you see, you're assessed penalty
but in baseball, you just make an error!
In baseball, a cap, with not even a strap
while in football, your head's got a helmet.
'Cause while on baseball field, your head won't have to yield
while a good tackle can overwhelm it!
In baseball, no clock, and all night we could rock
even into the 25th inning.
But it would be a crime if football is not timed.
Even if death is sudden, there's an ending!
Baseball, we kvetch at the seventh-inning stretch.
Now would be time for rally a-borning.
But football, we see has its top urgency
when the ref sounds the two-minute warning.
Football has cheering for clipping and spearing.
Unnecessary roughness, that's not nice.
They don't use this phrase for the blocking on plays
but in baseball, you bunt for "sacrifice"!
Football is played despite weather that's sprayed
in the rain, snow or wind, quit complaining.
But there in baseball, the game just might be called.
We can't go out to play if it's raining!
In football the tune floating over the room
from the band, it's a march song for all game.
In baseball the theme, is a waltz, it would seem:
three/four, "Take Me Out to the Ballgame"!
The two games' objects, different as it gets.
'Cause the quarterback, he's the field general.
He's throwing the bombs, bullet passes along
so the enemy's defense disassembles!
The enemy might blitz, yikes, and because of this
your poor quarterback might need the shotgun.
So assault aerial keeps you marching until
the six-point score, the touchdown, you've got one!
On ground you attack, push the enemy back
until his territory, you locate!
In baseball your wish is to get to the dish:
You just wanna go home where you'll be safe!
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|How Funny: ||4.1|
|Overall Rating: ||4.1|
|Total Votes: ||11|
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