-> "The Wreck of the Iowa Caucus -- 2016 Edition"
Original Song Title:
"The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald"
Parody Song Title:
"The Wreck of the Iowa Caucus -- 2016 Edition"
The legend lives on from Pottawottamie down
of the State with the 99 Counties.
And every four years bringing hopes and some fears
politicians are looking for bounties!
With that load of bullcrap, over 3 million lap
up all of that quadrennial attention.
Then for three years and more, they might feel really sore
'cause what other times do they get mentioned?
The pols go and fly to Mississippi's west side.
(That's the River, not State of Magnolia.)
And every man knew, as the candidates did, too
that they'd come and try to pigeon-hole ya!
Concluding the terms of the Presidents so firm
heading toward the November election.
The votes that they take, they can make or they'll break
rides of gales to November's selection!
They once announced late, but now can't seem to wait
not for New Year, much less the Convention.
Some nearly two years make announcement, we sneer
and that's not just some anal-retention!
The news networks come with their tattletale sound
and they broadcast for twenty-four hours.
"Debates," they were called, but they left us appalled.
Some of us even said we need showers!
The issues discussed left us feeling concussed
and they changed rather quick, even weekly.
And then it gets bad, with the negative ads
pulled stunts very nasty, quite sneakily!
The raves and the rants from the “grand” elephants
echoed through MSNBC’s studio.
The flailing Jeb Bush, he got kicked in the tush.
Didn’t even do as well as Rubio!
Does anyone know where The Donald will go
now that he’s run over by a Cruzer?
He swears and he brags but now his campaign sags
under his favorite label: A “loser!”
But he won’t give up though his campaign capsize
as he’s heading on out to New Hampshire.
He has gotten wrecked, and he cannot reflect.
And he sucks – maybe he is a vampire?
Mike Huckabee quits, Chris Christie chows down
At a buffet room in Cedar Rapids.
John Kasich steams that his President dreams
are set back by a Canuck so vapid!
On the other side, folks are fit to be tied
Mrs. Clinton’s win was very slender.
The kids’ celebrate Sanders’ very nice fate
with the Howard Dean screams not remembered!
In a musty old hall in Des Moines, Hillary
and Bernie both claimed a win raucous.
They’re both looking warm and in much better form
than Trump, wrecked by the Iowa Caucus!
The legend lives on as Republican clowns
head to State which, like their heads, is Granite.
Republicans, it’s said, don’t care if we are dead.
And I wonder, are they from this planet?
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|How Funny: ||2.7|
|Overall Rating: ||2.7|
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