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Song Parodies -> "Planes, Trains and Automobiles"

Original Song Title:

"The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald"

Original Performer:

Gordon Lightfoot

Parody Song Title:

"Planes, Trains and Automobiles"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

I've been gone from this site for too long. So, with Thanksgiving coming up, I present another Wreck, about a wreck of a trip trying to get home.
The legend lives on from Winnetka on down
of the tale of Neal Page and Del Griffith.
The pair, it is said, tried to get far ahead
although Neal would have preferred to miss it!

With a load of some junk in his very old trunk
Del, he sold rings for curtains of showers.
And Neal, I surmise, was exec advertise
in the Chi-town and Big Apple towers!

But Neal was the pride of the Most Far North Side
in Winnetka -- or Wilmette? Or Shermer?
But the comedy news from director John Hughes
meant his trip back home was a slow burner!

This guy full of flab stole Neal's Manhattan cab
after he lost race to Kevin Bacon.
At LaGuardia's gate, he's resigned to his fate
and Del took off his shoes, feet were achin'!

A blizzard did dump, and the snob and the schlump
they got held up in Wichita, Kansas.
Hotel room, it's said, only had the one bed
and the "pillows" scene, well, script demands this!

The boys, they got robbed, making getting-home job
harder even though they got to railroad.
But the "Contrack" broke down, and they felt like a clown
and took bus to St. Louis, a fail-load!

Does anyone know where Neal's rental car goes
when he's left to walk across a runway?
In that Missouri burg he cursed Edie McClurg
and he was not picked up in a funway!

But Del came around, and they moseyed on down
Interstate 55 with a songplay.
But Del's a livewire and he started a fire
after mistakenly going the wrong way!

But even with cards of the credit so charred
not enough anger could Neal Page muster.
So he let Del on in, and they're laughing again
this Midwestern pair Felix and Oscar!

So on Thanksgiving morn, out of hotel they've torn
and with burnt car, they're getting quite jiggy.
Until a State Trooper became party pooper.
'Twas the Lenny of Lenny and Squiggy!

They seemed out of luck, but Del found them a truck
took it back to the Town of Big Shoulders.
This wasn't the norm, but a friendship quite warm
had formed 'tween them in weather much colder!

So on came the train to bring Neal home again
and already, he starts reminiscing.
But where could Del roam? Seems he hasn't been home
in the eight years since poor Marie's passing.

Well, Neal learned some things, so a guest he now brings
to meet kids and his wife and their parents.
The dinner bell chimes -- Mrs. Bueller? "Nine times!"
for nine guests, and it seems not aberrant!

The legend lives on from Winnetka on down
of the big meal they all call Thanksgiving.
So thank you to Steve, funny film, I believe
and to both Johns, though no longer living.
I pop this film into my DVD player on the anniversary, every second day before Thanksgiving, and watch it piece by piece through every meal (well, every meal I have at home) until it runs out, usually with leftovers on Friday afternoon. For me, it's as much a Thanksgiving tradition as my old high school's football team getting clobbered by their arch-rivals. Now are you gonna help me by giving this parody a five, or are you gonna stand there like a slab of meat with mittens?

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.9
How Funny: 3.9
Overall Rating: 3.9

Total Votes: 14

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   4
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   10

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Onslaught - November 27, 2013 - Report this comment
5's, really great treatment.
AFW - November 27, 2013 - Report this comment
Skillfully captures the humor, as well as the spirit of the movie, and Thanksgiving...excellent read..Happy T day, Mike
Callmelennie - November 27, 2013 - Report this comment
Who but a deranged troll would give this anything but 5's? That's my way of killing two birds with one stone, Mike; I actually do think this is great .... And, damn, I hope I haven't set you up for an onslaught of "onesies" by people who just want to spite ME.

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