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Song Parodies -> "If You Could Read Behinds ( The Saga Of The Well Used Lawn Chair)"
Original Song Title:
"If You Could Read My Mind"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Gordon Lightfoot
Parody Song Title:
"If You Could Read Behinds ( The Saga Of The Well Used Lawn Chair)"
Parody Written by:
Malcolm Higgins
The Lyrics
there's only one word for this song.. T-A-L-W-I-N
if you could read behinds, boy,
what a tale I bet you'd tell
about the lady with nylon
fishing nets, and the fishy smell
warm and dark, like a sponge inside
a hedgehogs' armpits near his feet
you know that I'll want to see
if she left some dribbly pee
so I can wipe it totally....
if you could read behinds, boy
don't tell the folks at amiright
about the time I was gaseous
after beers and a pizza that night
just be nice and tell
that my ass was warm and soft,
and nice and neat,
and I rinsed the seat
I don't know where the farts that go
through the cheeks of mine
are they fine or are they bad?
what about that movie star?
did you laugh when her panties ripped?
asshole number two, that transy queen
who was between the man to woman plastic surgery?
and I never thought I would ask a chair
but I've got to say, who's best you've had yet?
should I know if you've seen dongs
or some mushy thongs with the stuff inside it packed
if you could read behinds, boy,
what a tale I bet you'd tell
about the lady with nylon
fishing nets, and the fishy smell
warm and dark, like a sponge inside
a hedgehogs' armpits near his feet
you know that I'll want to see
if she left some dribbly pee
so I can wipe it totally....
what about that movie star?
did you laugh when her panties ripped?
asshole number two, that transy queen
who was between the man to woman plastic surgery?
what a tale I bet you'd tell
about the lady with nylon
fishing nets, and the fishy smell
warm and dark, like a sponge inside
a hedgehogs' armpits near his feet
you know that I'll want to see
if she left some dribbly pee
so I can wipe it totally....
if you could read behinds, boy
don't tell the folks at amiright
about the time I was gaseous
after beers and a pizza that night
just be nice and tell
that my ass was warm and soft,
and nice and neat,
and I rinsed the seat
I don't know where the farts that go
through the cheeks of mine
are they fine or are they bad?
what about that movie star?
did you laugh when her panties ripped?
asshole number two, that transy queen
who was between the man to woman plastic surgery?
and I never thought I would ask a chair
but I've got to say, who's best you've had yet?
should I know if you've seen dongs
or some mushy thongs with the stuff inside it packed
if you could read behinds, boy,
what a tale I bet you'd tell
about the lady with nylon
fishing nets, and the fishy smell
warm and dark, like a sponge inside
a hedgehogs' armpits near his feet
you know that I'll want to see
if she left some dribbly pee
so I can wipe it totally....
what about that movie star?
did you laugh when her panties ripped?
asshole number two, that transy queen
who was between the man to woman plastic surgery?
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User Comments
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Malcolm---I think it's safe to ask a chair-they don't think too hard like people do; I thought this was hilarious too---
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