The legend lives on from the Chippewa on down
Of the manhood that was Hiawatha's.
But even that dong doesn't seem very long,
When compared to a longshoreman's whopper.

Their cocks are so large that they need a garage,
And are six feet when they are quite flaccid.
When stiffened they stand over twenty feet, and,
Are so tough, that they wash them with acid.

Edmund's dong was the pride of the American side
From Detroit all the way to Wisconsin.
As the longshoremen's go, his was bigger than most;
He astonished them all with his Johnson.

One night the north wind came a-hard-blowin' in,
Raising waves up like giant foam fountains.
The ships at the dock, they all started to rock,
As the storm raised up swells big as mountains.

Longshoremen worked hard to unload every barge,
Before each ship was beaten to rubble.
But the storm grew too strong, and before very long,
One boat was in serious trouble.

The "Trojan" had come from the port of Hong Kong,
With six hundred containers of condoms.
Now at the end of her sail, it appeared she would fail,
And be sent by the storm to the bottom.

The Trojan's crew ran for her gangplank and tried
To escape the ship as it was wrecking.
But a giant wave washed Trojan's gangplank away,
And the crewmen were left on her decking.

The Captain wired in he had water comin' in
And the good ship and crew were in peril.
But before very long, when hope seemed to be gone,
Came the erection of Edmund Fitzgerald.

Edmund unzipped his fly, and he gave a great cry,
"Fellas, here comes yer new gangplank!"
He whipped out his cock right there on the dock,
And proceeded to give it a good yank.

The longshoremen saw, and they all watched with awe,
Edmund's meatpole stretch over the ocean.
When it reached Trojan's deck her crew climbed on that pecker,
And ran down its length off the Trojan.

The legend lives on from the Chippewa on down
Of the big dick they call "Gitchi Goomee"
But even that rod doesn't seem very odd,
When compared to Fitzgerald's salami.