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Song Parodies -> "Gone Long On Henn, Naturally"

Original Song Title:

"Alone Again, Naturally"

Original Performer:

Gilbert O'Sullivan

Parody Song Title:

"Gone Long On Henn, Naturally"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

"Loaiza." "Sturtze So Bad." "Scott Proctor." Now another Yankee pitcher has upset me to the point where he gets ripped in one of my parodies. Sean Henn has now blown two extra-inning games on one roadtrip. Last year, I saw him get shelled in Double-A ball in Trenton at the beginning of the season, and again at the end of the season, I went up to Toronto to see the Yankees in what should have been the AL East clincher. (It was, but only because Boston also lost that night.) What is this bum still doing in the major leagues? What good is being a lefthanded reliever if you can't get guys out?
Just a little while ago
in Double-A ball, you know
I treated myself to this guy's hell
and the gopher balls that he'd throw.
On the River Delaware
in Trenton, I couldn't bear
in an effort to make it clear to who
ever what it's like when he's pitching
left standing on the mound
and the sound of fans all straining
"My God, he sucks, we blew ten bucks.
No point in him remaining."
And to Triple-A he was called
and the fans there were appalled.
Gone long on Henn, naturally.

To think that only yesterday
I left the old U.S.A.
I went in a pinch to see the Yankees clinch
in Toronto against the Jays.
But as if to knock me down
reality came around
and without so much as a mere touch
batters knocked Sean Henn to pieces.
Leaving me to doubt
talk about Joseph Paul Torre.
Why did you start that young upstart?
Tell me, what's the story?
Sox lost, the clinch we need
but the Blue Jays' bats were freed:
Gone long on Henn, naturally.

It seems to me that there are bullpens far off in the world
we should be sending
this guy who's rending.
See that ball go.
See that ball go.

(instrumental break)

Gone long on Henn, naturally.

And looking back over the hurts
at guys like Tanyon Sturtze
I remember how I stewed when Scott Proctor blew
and Farnsworth set off alerts.
And at 26 years old
he troubles my Pinstriped soul.
Out in Anaheim, pitching like a crime.
Now in Detroit, gopher-balling.
Leaving me to start
parody 'bout games so broken.
Despite my pleas for his release
those words were never spoken.
Carlos Guillen swung away.
That's why I'm mad today.
Gone long on Henn, naturally.

Gone long on Henn
The bum...

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.6
How Funny: 2.7
Overall Rating: 2.7

Total Votes: 19

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   3
 2   3
 3   2
 4   2
 5   9

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

John Jenkins - August 25, 2007 - Report this comment
Good stuff, particularly the "hurts/Sturtze/alerts" quartet. From my perspective, the way he pitched in Anaheim was sublime, not a crime, but the rest of Major League Baseball should be thankful that the Yankee pitching staff has more Sean Henns than Joba Chamberlains.
alvin - August 26, 2007 - Report this comment
wow...look at all those 1s...looks like henn's family voted....i thought this was superb, myself
Michael Pacholek - August 27, 2007 - Report this comment
If Henn's family thinks like he pitches, I doubt they have the intelligence necessary to even operate a computer!
Michael Pacholek - May 20, 2008 - Report this comment
Despite recent appearances to the contrary, Henn is no longer in the Yankee bullpen. Thankfully, he was waived last month, and claimed by the San Diego Padres. If he's still on their roster in September, they won't make a return trip to October.

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