Wanna tell you a story ‘bout the “Car Dent Blues”.

I go to the body shop one Friday,
Had to tell the shop owner my car got some dents.
He said, “That don’t concern me, long as I get my money when it’s done.”
Now, I didn’t have the cash to fix the dents, and out the door I went.

So I goes to the shop owner,
I said, “You let me slide?
I’ll have the dent money tomorrow, next day, I dunno.”
He didn’t let me slide it on, you know, people.
I notice when I go to get my car fixed here,
He ain’t got nothin’ nice to say ‘bout me.
But for five years, he used to be nice.
Though not really lovey-dovey.

I come to the shop one particular evening,
The shop owner said, “You got the dent money yet?”
I said “No.
Can’t pay my bills, therefore I got no money to fix the dents.”
He said, “I don’t believe you’re tryin’ to pay no bills.
Said, “I seen you on lunch, you were at the casino,
Playin’ a game of blackjack.”
I said, “I was lucky;
I got this system!”
He said, “That don’t concern me, long as I get my money when it’s done.”
Now, I didn’t have the cash to fix the dents, and out the door I went.

So I go down the streets, down to my good friend’s house.
I said, “Look man, my car’s banged up, you know.
Can I maybe borrow your brother’s dent puller?”
He said, “Lemme go ask him right now.”
He come outta the house,
I could see it in his face, I knew it was “no”.
He said, “I dunno, man…uh…he kinda funny, ya know?”
I said, “I know.
Everybody funny,
Now you funny, too!”

So I go back to the shop,
I tell the shop owner I got the dough; he’s gonna fix the dents.
He said “Yeah?”
I said “Aw yeah!”
And then he was so nice,
Though not really lovey-dovey.

So I grab my keys, pick up my car and I go.
I slip on out the garage door, down the streets I go.
He a-howlin’ about the front dents,
He’s lucky to get cash for the back dents!
He ain’t gonna get none of it!

So I drive back home, you know, people,
I log in to my PC, I go on Hulu, I look for a show to watch,
One said, “Look man, come down here.”
I got sucked in.
So who’s it with?

One Morty, one Rick, one me.
Well, I ain’t watched no TV since that show with Fez,*
Flyin’ with Morty Smith and Rick Sanchez.
One of ‘em’s high, man, the other’s obtuse,
Got ‘em a spaceship with cosmic juice.
Goin’ through space don’t fill me with glee,
But there’s one Morty, one Rick and one me.
One Morty, one Rick, one me.

But I’m sittin’ now in their ship,
Think they’re a pair of crazy fellows.
Now see, there’s Morty, then there’s Rick, and then there’s me.
Looked out behind, here comes a space monster.
Rick says, “Look man, have no fear!
See who we got:”

One Morty, one Rick, one me.
No, I ain’t watched no TV since Paul Newman had passed,
Now we’re on the brink, man, we gotta kick ass.
Gonna get fried, man, if we don’t stand tough,
Hope Rick and Morty are both up to snuff,
Goin’ through space, dodgin’ alien debris,
And there’s one Morty, one Rick and one me.
One Morty, one Rick, one me.
Well, all right!

[guitar solo]

Scratch my back, baby!

[guitar solo continues]

Now by this time, Rick’s plenty high,
You know when the ship veers on the fly, Rick’s plenty high.
Looked at the monster, I got Morty’s attention,
I said, “Look man, is he kiddin’?”
He shook his head.
He said, “No man, he’s dead serious.”
I said, “Look man, what’ll we do now?”
Rick said, “The laser bazooka’s fully cocked.
Your call. Let’s have a ball!”
So who would win?

One Morty, one Rick, one me.
Well, I ain’t watched no TV since they reran Twin Peaks,
Gonna get tough, man, show it we ain’t weak.
Got a bazooka, this ain’t no game,
One shot at the creature, I better take good aim.
Pulled the trigger, and then I set us all free,
There’s still one Morty, one Rick and one me.
One Morty, one Rick, one me.