Song Parodies -> "(Moving to) Medina"

Original Song Title:

"Montana"

Original Performer:

"(Moving to) Medina"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

This tribute to Mohammed was composed by the great Muslim avant gard genius Farouq Abdul Zappar. It's mostly about one of Mohammed's most notorious acts -- the beheading of 800 Arab Jews in Medina after they were discovered conspiring with Mohammed's enemies during the Battle of the Trench in 627

I might be moving to Medina soon
Just to appraise me of a couple of Jewish plots
Appraising them up
Whacking them down
In a blood soaked pit that I can
Dig uptown
By myself I would be my own boss
Cause I'd be crushing the ONLY Jewish plots
(Crushing the ONLY Jewish plots)
(Crushing the ONLY Jewish plots)

Well I just might start me a faith
But keep the turn the cheek stuff
For someboby else
But then on the other hand I would
Keep the old laws
And stone folks down
Say some hadeeth
And spread 'em around
I'd start me a sect
And I'd get respect
That's why I'm moving to Medina!

Moving to Medina soon
Gonna be a desert faith tycoon
Moving to Medina, fool
Gonna be Allah's last Rasool (Yes I am)

(Cue musical interlude followed by chorus of manic, ullulating voices)

I'm appraising up a Jewish plot
That cropped up during a battle
Crushing the plot
Beheading all day and all night and all afternoon
I'm taking a small tiny bride
Her name is little A'ishah
She's a good wife ... Even though
She's a bit dinky for babies or carnal relations anyway
She's a bit dinky for babies or carnal relations anyway
I'm crushing a little Jewish plot
Even if you think it's brutal, folks
I don't care if you think it's brutal, folks
I don't care if you think it's brutal, folks

I'm gonna get me a camel
Just about this big
And raid all along the caravan line
With a pair of .. heavy duty
ZIRCON ENCRUSTED DAGGERS in my hand
Every other Bedouin would say
I was mighty grand
By myself I would be my own boss
Because I snuffed out the ONLY .. Jewish plots
(Snuffing the only Jewish plots)

Well I might raid along the caravan route
With my daggers gleaming in the moonlighty night
And then I would
PRAY A COUPLE SURAHS!
And give my steed the bit
Just me and little A'ishah
Over by the Jewish plot pit

And then I just might
Jump back on
And ride .. like a Prophet
Into the dawn of Medina

Moving to Medina soon (Hamdu Lilah Hi Yay)
Moving to Medina soon (Hamdu Lilah Hi Yay)
Moving to Medina soon (Hamdu Lilah Hi Yay)
Moving to Medina soon (Hamdu Lillah Hi Yay)
Moving to Medina soon (HAMDU LILAH HI YAY, HEY!)
Moving to Medina soon (HAMDU LILAH HI YAY, HEY!)
Moving to Medina soon ....

Rasool - prophet; A'ishah - Mohammed's child bride

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John Barry - January 06, 2012 - Report this comment

Loved Farouq Abdul Zappar. Was he still with the Mullahs of Invective?

callmelennie - January 06, 2012 - Report this comment

Well, there's no way I can top that, Mr. B .... but hey, have you heard about the new Arab family sitcom? It's gonna be called "Leave it to She-goat" and it stars Muhammad Wally and Jareem Abdul Bivar

Faruk U. - January 06, 2012 - Report this comment

"Leave it to She-goat"? Didn't that come on just before that other 50's sitcom, "My Mother the Carbomb"? Or was it "Fatwa Knows Best"?

Callmelennie - January 06, 2012 - Report this comment

The name of the show was "Fatwa Knows Best"? You sure about that, Faruk. I thought the name of the show was "Father Stones Best"

Barry J. Mitchel - January 08, 2012 - Report this comment

IDNKTOS but enjoyed this parody -- and LOL at the comments. Frank Zappa's photo on his Apostrophe album cover tells me I don't want to meet him in Medina! Did you misspell "hadith" and "garde" deliberately?

Callmelennie - January 08, 2012 - Report this comment

I do some posting for a conservative comedy site called "iowntheworld" We once ran a contest for "Best name for a Muslim Sitcom" Here are 20 of the best entries, about half of which are mine -- Pet a Goat Junction, Mamlukes of Hazzard, Hate is Enough, Cleave it From Theiver, Leave it To Believer, Allah in The Family, Everybody Loves Ramadhan, I Club Lucy, I Love Lunacy, Curb Your Fanaticism, Gilligan's Islam, Kukla Fran and Allah, The Sunni Mooners, I Dream of Jihad, Make Boom For Daddy, Jihad Squad!, In Living Squalor, Beavis and Raghead, Marcus Wahhabi WMD, Married ... To Children, Virgin 54 Where Are You?

Callmelennie - January 08, 2012 - Report this comment

@ Barry Mitchell -- I'm getting on in years, so apparently, I've had a couple of cases of brain flatulence when it comes to speling lately. So mispelling "gard" was unintentional. On the other hand, "hadeeth" is not necessarily a mispelling; "hadeeth" is the most accurate guide as to how to correctly pronounce the actual Arabic word word. And If you want to get hypertechnical about it, "hadeeth" is a more actual transliteration of the word than "hadith." And if you haven't guessed by now, I once studied this language ... when I was in the military many moons ago.

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