Song Parodies -> "The Ballad of Christine"

Original Song Title:

"Joe's Garage"

Original Performer:

"The Ballad of Christine"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

Hey everyone, I'm not done submitting parodies yet, and I decided to send in this parody of a favorite song of mine, rewritten to follow the movie "Christine", based on the Stephen King novel of the same name. A lot of the spoken dialogue from the OS (original song) was cut out because it wouldn't work with my theme and it is ordinarily cut out on the rare occasions when it is played on the radio.

At high-school auto shop
There was a dude named Repperton
He up and smashed up Arnie's lunch
Threatened Arnie with a knife
P*ssed off Mr. Casey
Got Repperton kicked outta school
But Arnie held up good
He would stay there, in auto shop and chess club
And it sounded good to him

Dennis went back to LeBay's
And the old man told some horror stories
Brother's wife and daughter died
Later that night, he went down to Darnell's
Then he was locked out of Christine
Jumped out the window, and then went home
Then he had an accident
On the football field, broke his back
Dennis hurt himself real good
Arnie got Christine runnin' legal
And he got a girlfriend
'Cause about this time we was gettin' the eye
From Buddy Repperton and friends
They'd all come over 'n' beat his butt up

Spoken:

(This 1958 Plymouth is a psycho killer car!)

Then he kept it at Darnell's
'Cause his mom and dad didn't want it home
He and Leigh were on their way
To true romance
And datin’ too
Then they went out to get the car
Found it all smashed up, badly scarred

Spoken:

GO DOWN TO DARNELL’S
THEN TRY TO FIX UP THAT WRECK!

Then the car started to kill
It went out and run down Moochie Welch
An' it wasn't 'fore very long
Went after Repperton
And all of his meanie friends
Burned the three to death, at a gas station
Then Darnell choked to death
In Christine's driver's seat
Then Dennis and Leigh
Hijacked a bulldozer

Guess you only get one chance in life
To crush that killer car out…

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DJ Blaze - August 21, 2009 - Report this comment

For a minute, I thought this was going to be about my AmIRighter friend Christie Marie M, but you proved me wrong! Can't say I'm a fan of Steven King novels, but this still gets a 555.

Andria - August 21, 2009 - Report this comment

Thanks, DJ. I figured I'd get a comment from someone thinking it was about Christie Marie M, but this is about a very good movie, based on a story about a homicidal classic car. And I see that you're a Zappa fan too, since I wouldn't imagine most 15-year-olds (except me when I was your age) being into his music.

Mark Scotti - August 21, 2009 - Report this comment

Great song to do this to, Andria!(And great movie 7 book too!!)

Christie Marie M - August 21, 2009 - Report this comment

LOL at DJ Blaze's and your comment, Andria! Thanks for the mention! That would've been cool if I was the "Christine" in that song! Hilarious parody, Andria! I enjoyed watching the movie as well! I remembered this scene where Christine turned on the radio loud and made Leigh choke on her burger. I got to see that movie again! Kids in school used to call me "Christine the car", too! 5's!

Tommy Turtle - August 21, 2009 - Report this comment

Got the title immediately -- I was rooting for the car the whole movie. Hoping you'll do a follow-up on "Carrie", for whom I was also rooting -- and also the first mainstream flic to depict feminine hygiene products. And what a Prom-inent ending!

Andria - August 21, 2009 - Report this comment

Thanks, Mark... the book was better than the movie IMHO, mostly because of there being more scary stuff, thanks Christie, I got called a shipwreck a lot in school as a kid thanks to the Andria Doria, which was an Italian cruise ship that sank off the coast of Nantucket in 1956, and in case you didn't know, Leigh (played by Alexandra Paul of "Baywatch" fame) didn't have any meat in her mouth when that scene was filmed, just the bun, since she was and still is a vegetarian and Boca Burgers hadn't been invented yet, and the car was lit up inside with sunlamps placed in the back seat if I recall correctly, and thanks TT. I might do a followup based on Carrie, although a "Pet Sematary" or "The Shining" parody seems more likely, but those will likely have to wait until I move and I can afford internet access again.

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