My lies annoyed you
When I said I found a fix for flu…my lies annoyed you
Like the many times I said I had a genius one-fifty IQ
I boast, I boast but it’s all jive

Tried to make out I’m cool…said I bit a shark to death in the sea
On the golf course…I was best…beat Woods easily
Said I earned loads o’ pay…you’ll be sippin’ champagne all day
But I lied to you…an’ now we’re through…we’ve gone our separate ways

My lies annoyed you
When I said I’d leave the wife for you…my lies annoyed you
Like the many times I said I was a pal of Kiwi Jonah Lomu
I boast, I boast but it’s all jive

Said I’d had many fights…beat Balboa up, an’ Hogan, the same
I beat Mike Tyson…with one punch…he cried like a dame
Said I’m top dog in court…an’ the best there is at ev’ry sport
I invented gum…an’ I trained Red Rum…I’m a Chinese astronaut

My lies annoyed you
When I said I’d make a home with you…my lies annoyed you
Like the many times I said I wrote the ballad called “My Eyes Adored You”
I boast, I boast but it’s all jive

Said I was a neurosurgeon…an’ that I sang in Maiden way back when
Whoa baby
Said I pilot Jumbo Jets…an’ said I was Marcel the Monkey, that pet in Friends

***Overlapped chorus***

(My lies annoyed you)
(When I said I’d buy a ring for you…my lies annoyed you)
(Like the many times I said I wrote “The Exorcist” an’ “Nosferatu”)
(I boast, I boast but it’s all jive)

(My lies annoyed you)
(When I said we’d have a kid or two…my lies annoyed you)
(Like the many times I said I was the President of Vanuatu)
(I boast, I boast but it’s all jive)