Your story's sad to hear;
In Helmand, they all jeer
Coz as a suicider, you're no good
Your future is emergin'
No heaven-promised virgins
Can't even get that shoe-bomb on your foot...

Allah-la-la, allah-la-la
Allah-la-la-la-la-la

Terror school dropout
No happy martyrdom for you
Terror school dropout
Don't tell the Taliban you're half-Jew!
Your Koran is gath'rin' loadsa dust
Coz although you know you oughtta
Study how to kill the infidel
You pre-fer Harry Potter!

Ali, you're tryin' (better keep tryin')
To lead a good extremist life
Why are you cryin'? (wailin' and cryin'?)
You just got beat up...by your WIFE?
Now your effigies ain't burnin'
And you're lookin' like a fool
Turn in your IEDs and get out of Kabul...

Terror school dropout
Hangin' around the mosque all day
Terror school dropout
You only came for the buffet!
Well, you told us you could grow a beard
That was a load of hokum
Coz I think that we would find more hair
On Justin Bieber's scrotum!

Ali, stop sweatin' (stop sweatin')
You'll give the game away, f'sure
Are you regrettin' (regrettin')
You won't need airmiles anymore?
Now you've chickened out, because you doubt
That Allah thinks you're cool
All this warmongering's a big pile of Ka-bul

Ali, you blew it
Now you'll forever warm the bench
You couldn't do it
Dude, are you quite sure you're not French?
Well, you missed the flight, you dumb shiite
And that's the reason why
You won't be going to that orgy in the sky

Terror school dropout...get out of Kabul
[repeat]