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Song Parodies -> "I'd Like to Know What Dumb Is"

Original Song Title:

"I Want To Know What Love Is"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"I'd Like to Know What Dumb Is"

Parody Written by:

Lionel Mertens

The Lyrics

Hello my name is Lionel Mertens, and I hope you find me to be a seriously funny person in this my parody. After all, comedy is a damned serious business: no funny, no money. Anyway, I try to keep my oxymoronic life as simple as popping a pimple. That is, until life comes to a head. And when that happens, I've always got my two cents of humor to buy some comic relief. Not much I'll admit. I just hope this doesn't blemmish my cellar career. please let me know if I'm right or if I tanked. I need feed back on this weed whack. I hope you get a healthy dose of dumb. Remember, you can't stop the malaprop.
I always place a lot of thought
A lot of thought to think things closer
I always think outside the box
Because lets face it I'm no hoser

And this knowledge I command
Feels like a vise upon my ulcers
In the dirt I see dumb stand
It stays enthused as life squats vulgar

In my life
There's been think tanks and brains
I don't know
If I'll make tracks to insane
Can't think now
I'm bamaged too smart
To drain this empty life

I'd like to know what dumb is
I'd like you to goad me
I'd like to feel what "Huh?" is
And yes, you can quote me

I'm gonna take a simple walk
A simle walk might just astound me
I'll have no more of ad hoc
MENSA fist no longer pounds me

In my life
There's been eggos and bane
I let go
To waffle is to strain
Can't pop tart
My ToastMaster's burnt
To change this awful pun

I'd like to know what dumb is
I'd like you to roast me
I'd like to feel what "Duh?" is
But please don't you smote me


I triple dog* dare you to call me an Idiot Savant to my face.

*--Please! Somebody call an etymologist or something. We need to find who started saying this and muzzle them right away.

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.6
How Funny: 3.3
Overall Rating: 3.3

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2   1
 3   1
 4   0
 5   5

User Comments

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Michael Pacholek - August 11, 2005 - Report this comment
You want to know what dumb is? Something tells me the answer will Build Up Some How.
john ulvang - August 11, 2005 - Report this comment
Lionel, I'll say it over and over again. You won't know until you perform live. If you get blank stares, it's dumb. Audiences don't lie, they don't kiss your butt, they either laugh or they don't. You can perform some of your "WORST" stuff that you would never submit to show after show because it works. On the other hand, stuff that's truly brilliant might go over like a dead skunk. See if you can make an audience laugh for thirty seconds. Then build. My opinion of your material doesn't matter.
Offender - August 12, 2005 - Report this comment
Don't mind Pacholek. He's just venting as usual. I do wonder who the other "ones guy" was, though...
Righty - August 12, 2005 - Report this comment
DUMB = Democratic Undergrounders Mindlessly Bitching
Michael Pacholek - August 14, 2005 - Report this comment
Congratulations, "Righty." You can both read and think. Now go teach your boy in Crawford.
LG - May 04, 2007 - Report this comment
I think I'm too dumb to get this one...

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