It's a little bit funny, this joke book of mine
If you play your violin, then I'm gonna hide
I don't have much money, but boy if I did
I'd buy a big house and get much better hid

If I were a toaster, but then again, no
If I were an arctic hare I'd hop around in the snow
I know it's your birthday, so what else is new?
My gift are these socks, and I hope you like blue

And you can tell everybody these are your socks
And here is the gift receipt, and here is the box
I hope you don't mind
I hope you don't mind that I used up the milk
To bake you some muffins, and things of that ilk

I stood on the table, and scratched its veneer
I tell you, the upper bookshelves look dusty from here
The paint needs retouching, but I don't care
I'm thinking of putting up wallpaper there

So excuse me forgetting, but I'm just that way
In fact, I've forgotten the next thing I meant to say
Something about oatmeal? Or something else?
Can't be that important, I'm telling myself