Good Buy—Normal Jeans, though I never washed you at all
You had the grace to hold up well while other jeans would smell
Wasn't sure they would work, then she whispered into my ear
My girlfriend (on her treadmill) said "Change your jeans my dear"

Chorus 1:
She said "It seems to me you never put all your Calvins in the wash
But these normal ones cling to you and you look so posh
And I never need to know who made this perfect fit
Your Calvins faded long before these new ones ever did."

Washing them was tough, tough because they'd always fade
Or they would be faded at the SuperStore, it pained me the price I paid,
And even when they're dried, well the heat caused them to shrink
Though I sprayed them with Febreze my brand name jeans still stink

(Repeat Chorus 1)

Good Buy—Normal Jeans, though I never washed you at all
You had the grace to hold up well while other jeans would smell
Good Buy—Normal Jeans, thank you salesman on the 22nd floor
I think he was homosexual, but he knew his jeans for sure—

Chorus 2:
He said "It seems I heard you never put all your Calvins in the wash
But the ones I chose cling to you and you look so posh
And no one needs to know who picked these out for you
Your Calvins will fade long before these new ones ever do."