When are you gonna go down?
When are you going to learn?
I should have got laid on the farm
I should have made love with my woman

You know you can't hold me forever
I didn't sign up for Kung fu
I'm not in prison for your friends to open
This boy's too young to be sniffing
Glue, ooh, ooh

Goodbye jello trick coed
And a highbrow society gal
I can’t stop reading my Penthouse
I'm going back to my house
Back to the heart attack town
Humping the horny back clown
Oh, I've finally decided my futile lies
Beyond the jello trick coed
Ah, ah

Who do you think you'll do then?
I can't flush you down the drain
It'll take a batch of accountants
to set you on your feet again.

Maybe you'll get a facelift
There's money on trees to be found
Among girls who ain't got a penny
Turning some tricks like you
On the ground, ah, ah

So goodbye jello trick coed
Where the downtown society frowns
The damn cat peed on my Penthouse
I'm going back to my town
After the Hollywood, down Inglewood
Humping the horny back clown
Oh, I've finally decided my futile lies
Beyond the yellow brick road
Ah, ah