It’s a little bit funny how history flies
Assassinations can be quite a surprise
Two tales to tell you, what two girls did
Sent them to the Big House—temporarily lived
Squeaky Fromme’s first chapter, in this little show
Hung around with Chuck Manson, crazy cultist you know
Did not do that much, but one thing she did do
Was pick up her Colt and made front page news
Aimed the gun but was apprehended, “Didn’t go off!”
She seemed a bit simple—the gun had no rounds
Was out of her mind
Was out of her mind
One of those cuckoo birds
How she almost knocked off poor Gerald R. Ford

Sara Jane Moore next, three weeks had passed
She had a beef with the Hearst clan—Secret Service she passed
One of those goofy kinds
They had taken her gun--
It’s the people like her that
“Wait Days” are on--
In the crowd she was standing
Waiting to do
What Squeaky had flopped at
Hoped her aim would be true
Anyway the gist is—and it’s oh so keen—
Her gun had faulty sites—messed up the scene
And so Sara Jane missed his body, it wasn’t long
She got prison time in
Said she was wrong
The second ti-ime
The second ti-ime
(The world was so floored)
A woman tried to knock off poor Gerald R. Ford

I hope you don’t mind
I hope you don’t mind
That I wrote up these words
‘Bout the failed gun threats to Gerald R. Ford