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Song Parodies -> "Dogshit on a Shoe (Goodbye Freddie Phelps)"

Original Song Title:

"Candle in the Wind (Goodbye Norma Jean)"

Original Performer:

Elton John

Parody Song Title:

"Dogshit on a Shoe (Goodbye Freddie Phelps)"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

Goodbye Freddie Phelps
Though I never knew you at all
But I think it is fair to say
You hated homosexu-alls
You crawled out of the woodwork
Tried to set the world ablaze
In a fire of hate and bigotry
And intolerance for gays

And it seems to me you lived your life
Like you're dogshit on a shoe
Leaving a bad smell in the nostrils
And a fetid residue
But it's not just you who's hateful
You've twisted all your kids
Maybe they'll turn out better now
That of you they are rid

You said "God hates fags"
But really, if I had to guess
It would be you were one yourself
Those feelings, you had to suppress
Your income derived
From the people you would sue
When you wound them up too much
Incited them to set on you

And it seems to me you lived your life
Like a dose of pubic lice
Always irritating others, a
Noxious parasite
And I'm glad I never met you you
'Cause I know if I had
I'd have punched your ****ing lights out
And kneed you in the 'nads

Goodbye Freddie Phelps
Though I don't believe that there's a Hell
I hope there is - just for you
And for eternity you'll dwell

Goodbye Freddie Phelps
Now when I peruse your family tree
You've added so many new branches
To expand your bigotry

And it seems to me you lived your life
Like a twisted, hateful shit
Inflicting your misery
On grieving families, you git
You became the epitome
Of all that isn't right
With those small-minded Christians
You cretinous gobshite

And although I do not like to say
I'm glad when someone's died
The world's a nicer place now you've left it
And that can't be denied

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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.3
How Funny: 3.3
Overall Rating: 3.3

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   3
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   4

User Comments

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Michael Pacholek - March 24, 2014 - Report this comment
I'm glad he lived long enough to be proven not just a bigot but a fool - and a minority. His majority burned out long before his hatred ever did.
Patrick - March 24, 2014 - Report this comment
Nicely done. One of the Westboro clan's practices was to tie American flags to their children's shoes so they would step on them as they walked. I've driven by the compound in Topeka, Kansas. It is an English Tudor building with an 8-foot high wooden fence. There is a basketball court on the 12th Street side, and a flag pole with the stars and stripes--upside down--and a gay-looking rainbow flag, similar to that flown by the rainbow house, a gay organization just east of Westboro on Orleans Street. An organization of motorcyclists, The Patriot Guard, would often attend soldiers' funerals to shield the family from the Phelpsites. I saw a documentary in which Phelps grandchildren were interviewed. Scary to hear such talk of "fags" coming from little kids. Many of Phelps own children run away from home at the first opportunity. One fellow was arrested for stalking the group at a protest in Kansas. He had a couple of guns in his car. I have heard allegations that someone threw a firebomb at the church building. But for the most part people just ignored them. They became such a fixture in Topeka that they were just another part of the landscape. I saw them years ago before I knew who they were. Phelps got his start as a civil rights lawyer, suing stores that discriminated against Blacks. Received an award from the NAACP. A complex character, no doubt. Hurray for freedom of speech. Protects our parodies, just like it protected Fred's protests.
Niggler - March 24, 2014 - Report this comment
Also, he was a registered Democrat and supporter of Al Gore and Bill Clinton; they all deserved each other, frankly.
Wac(k)o Jack - March 25, 2014 - Report this comment
When I was a teenager our family was on a big vacation and we were at the Texas Rangers museum in Waco. Across the street was a huge compound. Some years later I found out from TV that it was the Branch Davidian complex. Good parody. 555

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