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Song Parodies -> "The Snitch Gets Whacked"

Original Song Title:

"The Bitch is Back"

Original Performer:

Elton John

Parody Song Title:

"The Snitch Gets Whacked"

Parody Written by:

Guy DiRito

The Lyrics

DKTOS? Youtube it HERE

He'll be buzzard pie before it's five,
Brazen lame, be hittin' this guy.
Crime arrangin', you for sure don't chat,
But the cleaver's gonna get used when the snitch gets whacked.

"Sweet Pete" hits 'em tidy, with constraint,
So he breaks face, he's no latter-day saint.
Hittin' snitch, he's best with his "special shoes",
When they die bloody bleeding stiff and shot subdued.

Be a snitch, be a snitch,
Be a snitch, get whacked,
Don't get over when you chatter and rat.
You will twitch, you will pitch,
From that cattle prod juice.
Their ways may be crude,
You'll sting from abuse. (Oh-oh-oh)

He ascertains by jerking chains,
Dropped in hole for dropping names.
Keep wiped your nose, or odds are that,
Find the rules are ghastly rabid how the snitch gets whacked.

Scratch an itch, scratch an itch,
It's his niche, his knack,
Rome cold order when the ratter gets whacked.
Scratch one snitch, scratch and ditch,
Does that dead stare at you,
Away, now remove,
And bring cement shoes (Oh-oh-oh)

(Sax dominated intrumental break)

If you snitch, if you snitch,
It can gitcha whacked,
Stone cold over when you're splattered and sacked.
You'll be ditched, you'll be pitched
Whatsa madda wit you?
You'll play and you'll lose,
The finks all get screwed. (Oh-oh-oh)

Snitch, snitch, the snitch gets whacked,
Snitch, snitch, the snitch gets whacked,
Snitch, snitch, the snitch gets whacked,
Snitch, snitch, the snitch gets whacked,
Snitch, snitch, the snitch gets whacked,


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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 15

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   15

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

blackjack21 - August 13, 2009 - Report this comment
Dat's what I'm talkin' 'bout, whack dem doity boids when dey starts singin'. Givin' youse tree fives for dat one Guy.
camira bailey - August 13, 2009 - Report this comment
I totally loved this one. Perfect score from this end too.
Angelo B. - August 13, 2009 - Report this comment
You don't nohow want to be talking out of school around these guys. They'll bury you under the school house. I'm voting 5's just to stay on you guys good side. Favorite lines----- It's his niche, his knack, ----- Rome cold order when the ratter gets whacked.-----Great parody.
Andria - August 13, 2009 - Report this comment
Great parody, Guy. The title and subject matter remind me of prison documentaries in both TV-show and book form, in which informants (the politically correct euphemism for "snitches") get murdered with cell-made knives (shanks, shivs) or are beaten to death, often by prisoners with life-without-parole or death sentences who figure they've got nothing to lose in terms of getting out. (in other words, 'taint gonna happen.) 5s.
Christie Marie M - August 13, 2009 - Report this comment
Violently funny, Guy! Goes to show that whistleblowers, narks ,rats, and stool pigeons are likely to be easy targets to be attacked. I echo all comments. Worked well with the OS. 5's!
AFW - August 13, 2009 - Report this comment
I'm gonna snitch and say I like this and all your mob parodies
Andy Primus - August 13, 2009 - Report this comment
555 more prods
Old Man Ribber - August 13, 2009 - Report this comment
I swear...I didn't see ANYTHING! (Anything but three 5s) ;D
Turtle Who Sleeps With The Fishes - August 13, 2009 - Report this comment
A definite "hit". :d

Guy, you're so knowledgeable on this topic, I'm beginning to fear it's autobiographical (no prejudice against the ethnicity of the name, of course) :-) Here's the $333 I owe ya, plus the $222 juice for your vig-orous and whack-y write.
Mark Scotti - August 13, 2009 - Report this comment
Hope you weren't "contracted" for this write. LOL!!! Should be the theme song to "Goodfellas"... 555 wacks from a cleaver, fugetaboutit!!!!
FiddlecaseGirl - August 13, 2009 - Report this comment
A $555 donation from the Friends of Italian Opera... ;)
TJC - August 13, 2009 - Report this comment
So much better than the Harry Potter send up I was expecting (though he, too, should sleep with the snitches...)!
Guy - August 13, 2009 - Report this comment
A♠ J♠ XXI - Hey e ovah 'eah - I depreciate youse writin' good woids abod dis parity and hey e thanks fo da 5's

Camira - Glad you loved it - I have a gaggle of mob parodies on this site. They run along adding characters and some story lines in some parodies. It all started with Billy Joel's Piano Man which I wrote my parody "Paisano Man". So if you love this kind of stuff search my author page where there are a lot more of them. Thanks!

Angelo B. - So glad you liked reading those fave lines - I liked writing them - thanks.

Andria - Quite so - no one likes a snitch. Thanks.

Christie - Also quite so and is true in all of the circumstances that you mentioned, but this parody is mob themed. I have several dozen mob/mafia parodies written - this is just the latest installment. Much appreciate your attention to my write.

Farce - A very wise and safe move on your part. =;-) Grazie, moto grazie.

Andy - So you liked the lip looser prods part then, huh? One of my favorite methods. Quite nice of you to read and comment - thanks.

Ribber - It's good to have not seen but better to not have been heard tell. Thanks!

TT - The area where I grew up was called "Little Italy" (one of many) I could have gone either way. My mob knowledge came about quite honestly. I grew up around it and could have very easily followed in one of my uncle's footsteps. He was a true wise guy - he played the rackets all of his life and never did any time. He was arrested twice that I knew about and walked within 15 minutes both times and there was never anymore to it - no charges, no trials, and no pleas. He lived to within one month of his 102nd birthday and was still very active in the waste management business way into his upper 90s. And how about you? You have those mob terms down pretty pat, like "juice" "vig" and "whack". You're like an astute chooch. =;-) and I mean that in a good fellas way. Thanks.

Mark - actually I am contracted by Don Carmine Boccatesta - he comments on my parodies once in a while but he writes like shid.

Fiddlegirl - We like the violin in our culture. It goes so fine with our other pastime, opera. You see wise guys have to have culture and dress for success. Don Carmine says that you have one favor for donating to such a worthy cause. He says grazie e ciao.

TJC - You will never see a HP parody from this writer. I have read none of the books and for sure never seen not one of the HP movies. I assume that there are some characters in HP that are known as snitches? Yeah, I'm sure that movies like The Godfather and sequels, Goodfellas and HBOS Sopranos draw more revenue and attention than HP. So glad that I pleasantly surprised you. Thanks.
Don Carmine Boccatesta - August 14, 2009 - Report this comment
Hey, DiRito, wassa matta you, huh? Signore Tartaruga an' myself have already made a pact among our Families, dividing da surf an' da turf, an' he has shown me da propa respect. He is Family to me, an' youse should treat him wit respect also. Refresha' you memory: (slaps both cheeks)
Michael Corleone - August 14, 2009 - Report this comment
Signore Tartaruga, Don Carmine has not been quite himself of late. His mental health began to deteriorate shortly after he read a parody called "Soprano Man". He very nearly suffered a psychotic break but was revived by our family physician. He is under very heavy psyscotropic medication and has been overmedicating on the alprazolam that has been prescribed to him. His unfortunate downslide accelerated when he began therapy sessions with Tony Soprano's old psycologist. Unfortunately she is "out of town" at the moment and cannot be reached for comment. Don Carmine, at the urging of our most esteemed consigliere, has been relieved of conducting any official family business and may continue to do so when and if he recovers. So your interests and territory are still liquidated as ours are still rock solid. Do we understnand each other Don Signore Tartaruga?

One other small item if you will please. Since you really do sleep with the fishes we'd like to know if you know the whereabouts of one Luca Brazzi. We'd like closure on this matter and he should rest in our turf and not your surf. No disrespect to your surf Don Tartaruga, it's just our thing to have our own on or in this case under our real estate. My respects to you and your family. We will talk again on this and other matters of interest to our respective enterprises. Most respectfully - Michael Correlone.
Tomaso Tartaruga - August 14, 2009 - Report this comment
Don Corleone: It is always a pleasure to hear from you. My respect and regards to your Family, and my sympathies to Don Boccatesta and his friends and Family. My sincerest wishes for his speedy recovery.

Of course the pact between our Families is sacred forever. Don Tartaruga is a man of his word, and vows to you that he will not be the one to break our agreement.

It would be a great honor to be able to help you with the closure of your associate Signore Brazzi. Unfortunately, my informants believe that he sleeps somewhere in the New Jersey swamps, and while no disrespect is intended to that fine state, the poikilothermic nature of our Family requires us to conduct our business in much warmer waters farther south. In fact, I once knew a Miami Beach copper who used to patrol the neighborhood of your late Father's associate, may he rest in peace, Meyer Lansky. He too opted for warmer climates when his health declined, and may he too rest in peace. Most respectfully, Tomaso Tartaruga
Michael Corleone - August 14, 2009 - Report this comment
Signore Don Tomaso Tartaruga - It brings great distress to my entire family to think that our gumbadre Luca Brazzi may be languishing in a filthy Jersey swamp. Do you have any toads in your organization who may habitat in swampy areas of the north east? It could be worth a fair amount of juice to an enterprising toad who could locate the remains of our esteemed associate Luca Brazzi and a tribute paid to you as a finders fee for a good head hunter. You are a smart business amphibian and everyone can always use a bit more juice. We can have our consigliere draw up a contract for services that can be negotiated between our two organizations. Perhaps we can reach a middle ground where we both win. We are a most reasonable family organization and I promise you that you would not be disappointed at the offer that you could not possibly refuse. Very respecfully, Michael Corleone.
alvin - August 17, 2009 - Report this comment
lmao...hilarious....great title of your funniest mob parodies...and that's saying something
Guy - August 18, 2009 - Report this comment
Alvin - Violence and morbidity just seems to bring the best out in you, doesn't it? Glad ya liked - Thanks.
Mike (the Finger) Pacholek - September 08, 2010 - Report this comment
Don DiRito, I did not see this parody when it first came out. I hope that you will accept these fives as an expression of my desire to make... amends, and to show the proper... respect.
Max Power - September 14, 2010 - Report this comment
LOL Dump one into Hudson River.

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