Goodbye Hazel Blears
Though I never knew you were small
A bit like a garden gnome
With a face like Chucky doll
Wanted to run our country
But were caught by what you claimed
Soon you'll have to pay back
What you owe for capital gains

And it seems to me you lived your life
Like a pixie on the gin
Like the Wicked Witch of the West's
Evil ginger twin
Did you think Gordon would sack you
Saying "you tube" like you did?
Is that why you resigned, before
You were unelect-id

Goodbye Jacqui Smith
Your perfect record slightly marred
42 days without trial,
DNA and ID cards
You reclassified cannabis
Thank god you'll soon be gone
'Cause the people had to pay
For your husband downloading porn

And it seems to me that you're gonna throw
Your career into the bin
Maybe knowing you should get out
Ere expense claims roll in
[If] your record was on eBay, well
I wouldn't place a bid
well... maybe one small flutter
Of a couple o' quid

Goodbye Douglas Hogg
And I'm not just saying this to gloat
The odds on your re-election
Are more than just re-moat

Goodbye Gordon Brown
Even though you've not resigned, I know
But there's folks in your own cabinet
Think it's time for you to go

And it seems to me you've lost your mind
If you think that you might win
By delaying the election
'til two thousand and tin
And I would have liked to say that you
Did better than you did
And now it won't be long before
Of you we will be rid

And I would have liked to say that you
Did better than you did
And now it won't be long before
Of you we will be rid