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Song Parodies -> "Goodbye Hazel Blears"

Original Song Title:

"Candle In The Wind (Goodbye Norma Jean)"

Original Performer:

Elton John

Parody Song Title:

"Goodbye Hazel Blears"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

Another political one... we live in interesting times at the moment, and with cabinet ministers resigning left, right and centre, I figured I'd better get this finished sooner rather than later (before I have to rewrite the last bit about Gordon Brown, that is)
Goodbye Hazel Blears
Though I never knew you were small
A bit like a garden gnome
With a face like Chucky doll
Wanted to run our country
But were caught by what you claimed
Soon you'll have to pay back
What you owe for capital gains

And it seems to me you lived your life
Like a pixie on the gin
Like the Wicked Witch of the West's
Evil ginger twin
Did you think Gordon would sack you
Saying "you tube" like you did?
Is that why you resigned, before
You were unelect-id

Goodbye Jacqui Smith
Your perfect record slightly marred
42 days without trial,
DNA and ID cards
You reclassified cannabis
Thank god you'll soon be gone
'Cause the people had to pay
For your husband downloading porn

And it seems to me that you're gonna throw
Your career into the bin
Maybe knowing you should get out
Ere expense claims roll in
[If] your record was on eBay, well
I wouldn't place a bid
well... maybe one small flutter
Of a couple o' quid

Goodbye Douglas Hogg
And I'm not just saying this to gloat
The odds on your re-election
Are more than just re-moat

Goodbye Gordon Brown
Even though you've not resigned, I know
But there's folks in your own cabinet
Think it's time for you to go

And it seems to me you've lost your mind
If you think that you might win
By delaying the election
'til two thousand and tin
And I would have liked to say that you
Did better than you did
And now it won't be long before
Of you we will be rid

And I would have liked to say that you
Did better than you did
And now it won't be long before
Of you we will be rid

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   8

User Comments

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alvin - June 08, 2009 - Report this comment
very clever with many amusing rhymes
malcolm higgins - June 08, 2009 - Report this comment
from a Brit who follows three countries worth of politics.. 'bloody lovely mate! foive foive foive
Leo Keough - June 08, 2009 - Report this comment
It's reassuring to know that the USA isn't the only country with political scandals...555!!!
unKnownVotress - June 08, 2009 - Report this comment
leave it to Hazel dearest . .
Gari J - June 08, 2009 - Report this comment
Yes Leo everywhere the world is a Financial and Political mess but good to see parodys on here to cheer us up
Timmy1000 - June 08, 2009 - Report this comment
Phil, Wow! I had to do some reading on this and your parody was spot on on all points - well written and fits well in the song. They sounds like our guys in Washington - a high standard of living is owed them (so they think). 555 for you but make sure you properly record it on your expense reports.
John Jenkins - June 08, 2009 - Report this comment
It sounds like Ms. Blears would be a good candidate for an Obama cabinet position. "Interesting times" seems to be a euphemism, but very good spoof, Phil.
Phil Alexander - June 09, 2009 - Report this comment
:-) Thanks, all... incidentally, to all those over there who will have no idea of who Hazel Blears actually is (you lucky, lucky people, you), and where the "Chucky Doll" reference comes from - compare this picture:$plit/C_71_article_1040020_image_list_image_list_item_0_image.jpg
to this one:
MrMacphisto - June 10, 2009 - Report this comment
lol... nice.
pickle - June 14, 2009 - Report this comment
The cartoonists Kerber & Black also likened Blears to Janette Tough, the small woman who dresses as a schoolboy in The Krankies comedy team. She's probably the same age as Angus Young of AC/DC too.

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