It’s a little bit funny
These memorys inside
Coz everyone I meet takes me for a ride
I don’t have a woman
But Boy if I did
Id build a big house where
We both could live


first there was kirsty
then theres suzanne
she was a funny one , yeah
she was a man
don’t forget svetlanna
She’s was not all bad
she ran off with my brother
and then my dad

And you can tell everybody
That this is your thong
It maybe quite skimpy
on you it was wrong!
Hope you don't mind
I hope you don't mind
That ive checked it for worms
ive bleached it in cillit bang incase of any germs

Jackie was orange
She was my boss
Only ever kissed her once coz of her moustache
then that club in blackpool
where I met divine
who’s genitalia was bigger than mine
Linda got me drunk
got me that tatoo
and now my manhood is it green red or blue
and despite anoyance
don’t forget coleen
she had the biggest breasts ive ever seen I've ever seen



And I will tell everybody
This is your thong
It may be quite skimpy
But on you its wrong
I hope you don't mind
I hope you don't mind but ive had everyone!
2 teachers,4 cleaners a doctor and a nun
I hope you don't mind
I hope you don't mind
but ive had every one
if the worst comes to the worst
hey theres always my mum!