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Song Parodies -> "Tipsy Gambler"

Original Song Title:

"Tiny Dancer"

Original Performer:

Elton John

Parody Song Title:

"Tipsy Gambler"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Whatever happens in Vegas stays in Vegas (especially your money)
Blackjack hates me, Poker spanked me
A loss with every hand
Craps I’ve tried, Roulette wheel
I’m running so short on cash
I’ve played Keno in the casinos
Lost another grand
A waste of money, sucked at rummy
Tipsy Gambler’s what I am

Guinness drinks are served for free
As I hiccup pull out wads
Order Jack Daniel’s drafts
This deck of cards is not my last

And man oh man, suck at Blackjack
I’ll say, “Hit me” till I’m numb
Haven’t won, need twenty-one
Went too high I should have stuck

And as she deals I squeal
Full of fear I spill my beer
I got a flush that full house beat me
And I groan loudly swearing…

You’re a loser Tipsy Gambler
Chugged a Bud Lite in my dismay
Sold my house for chips and spent them
It’s such a crappy game to play

Play some Roulette, Tipsy Gambler
I stacked my chips onto the black eight
Ball spins ‘round and lands in seven
Four letter words right there were sprayed

Bingo’s slain me, War was shady
I’m stressed and pull hair strands
Slot machines, Icons swirl
Got two cherries and a orange
Play Pachinko in the casino
The Jackpot’s missed again
Now spent plenty, have one penny
Tipsy Dancer, Good luck, Man!

And now I spin the Big Six Wheel
Drain a beer and then I cheer
Number two is where it’s ending
I take my winnings, grinning

Made ten dollars, Tipsy Gambler
Not a high price, but it’s something
You’re still down about a million
Is this your lucky streak? No way…

Not a scholar, Tipsy Gambler
Mobsters aren’t nice if you’re cheating
Rather lose cash than take damage
Should stick to nickel slots instead…

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 29

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   2
 5   27

User Comments

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2Eagle - January 22, 2009 - Report this comment
Very nice. Now get into therapy.
LadyNorCAL - January 23, 2009 - Report this comment
Now, now, Squire Matthias, you're not even 21 yet , sir !
Agrimorfee - January 28, 2009 - Report this comment
(Ages2) Very good gamble on this classic tune. You popped in lots of games as mentions and made a good story out of it, too. My fave in this round thus far.
tomario - February 03, 2009 - Report this comment
it always amazes me how much effort you put in mathias. another fine addition to your catalogue.
bobpiecheese - February 07, 2009 - Report this comment
(Ages2) The last verse kinda came outta left field,, but the rest was pure brilliance. 555 for you (don't waste it on more chips/booze)!
Arwen - February 10, 2009 - Report this comment
AGES...funny funny! I'm a horrible gambler, as it never occurs to me that I'm not going to win. So I just keep dropping the money on the table. Or in the slot. Vegas was built on the lost fortunes of people like me. =)
Melanie Lee - February 10, 2009 - Report this comment
(Ages) Cute, clever, and funny, and it helps that you used a sweet OS. 5-5-5.
Invisible Boy - February 11, 2009 - Report this comment
Great idea and well done Matty. I've been to Vegas many times and your references were spot-on.
You should rent "Vegas Vacation". The movie is about the guy in your parody.
Matthias - February 11, 2009 - Report this comment
Oops! The line: "Tipsy Dancer, Good luck, Man!" (Should have been "Tipsy Gambler", Good luck, Man!)
Below Average Dave - February 11, 2009 - Report this comment
(Ages) That line you mentioned didn't catch my eye until you pointed it out, but as a recording no one would notice that so, I won't hold it against you, pretty funny matty. I see gambling as an entertaining way to burn money--meaning it's not entertaining because burning money sux. . .fun parody.
Jeff Reuben - February 11, 2009 - Report this comment
(Ages) I was a little tipsy reading this so I didn't catch the blooper. I'll never think of this song the same again after Tampa. Good job.
Silver Power - October 05, 2009 - Report this comment
I'm from NJ, so I might try my luck in Atlantic City, when I'm old enough. Hopefully, what happens in this parody doesn't happen to me! 555!
Agrimorfee - October 19, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC)You are the Odds on favorite to hit the jackpot in this T Round.
Fiddlegirl - October 19, 2009 - Report this comment
I don't have the Vegas idea about all of this... ;)
Guy - October 20, 2009 - Report this comment

I'll bet these two fives and raise you a nickel. This is one of my favorite OSes and I love to parody this OS. It has so many possibilities. Fine job Matt. I've been to Reno and Tahoe but never Vegas. Oh, yeah, I left both places with my shirt still on my back. Check with Goodwill if you are in need of a shirt there Matt.
Stuart McArthur - October 28, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC) Beautiful match of OS to theme, with its wistful tones. So let's see, you're down a million and you've clawed back 10...(taps into calculator)...looks like there's gonna be some celbratin in 2039, Matty! One of your best, mate - 555
Melanie Lee - October 29, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC) See above.
Leo Keough - October 30, 2009 - Report this comment
ABC5(T) You covered all your bets with this one...good job!!!...555!!!
DJ Blaze - October 30, 2009 - Report this comment
This work definitely wasn't rigged for this comp! 555
bobpiecheese - October 30, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC5) See above!
Below Average Dave - November 01, 2009 - Report this comment
Yeah. . .see above
Red Ant - November 01, 2009 - Report this comment
Very solid parody, Matt. Loved it, especially all the games you worked into the verses.
Melanie Lee - November 03, 2009 - Report this comment
I've parodied your parody! Look for it circa 11/4/09!
Max Power - May 11, 2010 - Report this comment
Way to lose 555 dollars.
Mark Scotti - May 11, 2010 - Report this comment
This one paid off in three fives...
Mark Scotti - May 11, 2010 - Report this comment
once again forgot my (ABC)
Mark Scotti - May 11, 2010 - Report this comment
Annnnd..once again..forgot it was (Artistry)
Jeff Reuben - May 12, 2010 - Report this comment
I of the best things about gambling is the free drinks! Good song though.
Below Average Dave - May 12, 2010 - Report this comment
I will elaborate, you do realize nearly every line contains rhyming words within them right? Matty Matty boy---you missed some, but nailed others, listen closely to TOS and you'll see what I mean. Some examples: Tried and Wheel don't rhyme, drinks and free, hiccup and wads, you hit this rhyme scheme in some spots though, I don't understand how you missed them in others. . .but decent write anyway.
Matthias - May 13, 2010 - Report this comment
If he rhymes so does Gordan Lightfoot. "Eyes, and Smile" don't rhyme, while "streets" and "freaks" are half rhymes such as "drinks" and "free".... And that other line that you mentioned goes "handing tickets out for God" while my goes "As I hiccup pull out wads" neither of those rhyme with other parts of the line. I think you looked for something not to like about this one since the rhyming is fine.
Below Average Dave - May 13, 2010 - Report this comment
I didn't say I didn't like it, but I will relisten at the end like I promised via phone. . .I'm just going by how the song sounds, and you are right in that those particular rhymes aren't precise rhymes, but they are intentional rhymes. . .that was my point---that's all sorry
John Jenkins - May 13, 2010 - Report this comment
TOS has a unique rhyme scheme, and this parody matches it very well in most places. Extra credit for doing all of the verses and varying all of the ones that repeat themselves in TOS and for a fun story.
Andria - May 14, 2010 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Great job, but one little problem: Jack Daniels is whiskey, not beer or ale, so it comes in shots rather than drafts, but then again, "shots" wouldn't have worked.
Rex - May 17, 2010 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Fun parody, I liked how you worked in several different games.
bobpiecheese - May 22, 2010 - Report this comment
(Artistry) See above (again)!

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