a festive date...i participate
by drinkin' till my head ain't clear
by seven o' clock...i am truly crocked
my mind is jelly from a case of beer
can't get much drunker
i'm as brain dead as a junkie
smack my old lady...i don't care
my temper's acute...when i've got me a snoot
a fun new year's eve, i've prepared

ohhhhhhhh
i'm good and drunk for a celebration
on labor day or halloween
holiday nights, i'm tight and fright'nin'
meanest jerk you've ever seen
why i start to boil, i just can't explain
guess i just ain't hooked up right
holiday nights, my punch gets spiked
holiday nights, i'm tight and like to fight
ooooooh

on the fourth of july, i'm a lit up guy
and even on thanksgiving, i get dixie fried
on the day we honor mothers, i am one indeed
i'm a fink, who likes to drink and shout out...
"who wants me ?"
but christmas is the day that i really like
cause i'm armed with a switchblade and i'm poised to strike
i'm a jubilant addict...and a perfect ass
i sock my friends when i finish off a glass

ohhhhhhhh
i'm good and drunk for a celebration
on labor day or halloween
holiday nights, i'm tight and fright'nin'
meanest jerk you've ever seen
why i start to boil, i just can't explain
guess i just ain't hooked up right
holiday nights, my punch gets spiked
holiday nights, i'm tight and like to fight
ooooooh

holidays...holidays...holidays
holidays...holidays...holidays
holidays...holidays...holidays, i must fight
holidays...holidays...holidays
holidays...holidays...holidays
holidays...holidays...holidays, i must fight