goodbye ron popeil
though i never...knew you at all
your gadgets, praised and sold yourself
then to our homes were hauled
you showed us how they would work
and you whispered into our brains
you didn't go for hard sell
and these marvels brought you fame

but it seems to me...your biggest lie
was the pocket fisherman
clever novelty to cling to...and then reel 'em in
and i would have liked to stone you
i nearly flipped my lid
your product broke down long before
your legend ever did

you professed it tough
the toughest tackle ever made
one could be an anglin' superstar
a man with a priceless trade
but it quickly died
and i wrote and hounded you
all you ever had to say
was the warranty...was found to be through

so it seems to me...your biggest lie
was the pocket fisherman
clever novelty to cling to...and then reel 'em in
and i would have liked to stone you
i nearly flipped my lid
your product broke down long before
your legend ever did

goodbye ron popeil
thought i never...knew you at all
your gadgets praised and sold yourself
then to our homes were hauled
goodbye ron popeil
though a con man, you're a...sellin' dynamo
i see you as someone now nonsensical
hawkin' junk that's...guaranteed to blow

and it seems to me...your biggest lie
was the pocket fisherman
clever novelty to cling to...and then reel 'em in
and i would have liked to stone you
i nearly flipped my lid
your product broke down long before
your legend ever did

your product broke down long before
your legend ever did