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Song Parodies -> "Zonky Cat"

Original Song Title:

"Honky Cat"

Original Performer:

Elton John

Parody Song Title:

"Zonky Cat"

Parody Written by:

Guy DiRito

The Lyrics

For a Youtube listen to the OS of Elton Johns' "Honky Cat" click HERE

Never took crack, boy I must have Jim Beam®,
Soppin' up Kentucky, swish gin a bit green.
Cooking up, my aunts' swear, frying your mind to blind.
Can't feel a draw Iron City Light® [1], runny just like wine.

High lead, wet jacked zonky cat,
Better go slack on the woods.
Or you'll spit for days on that rot gut maize,
And ah (hmm hmm hmm hmm) (OH) grains are gonna do thee stewed.

On bender jet whacked zonky cat,
Drinking itty bitty cain't a drink like that.
It like waitin' on hold on a severed line,
When you're flyin' on drink whisky (OH) why now bother with wine?

Well I need those cooks that so mead that ethylene,
That make that high test eighty proof in dew machines.
The rum and Coke's lack tone hell, hasn't kick of mule,
Oh dread no, don't leave none what's poured, drink that molten fuel.

Your head, kicked back, zonky cat, leathered shellack cooked in wood,
You'll be lit for days, on that rot gut maize.
And ooo ooo ooo ooo (OH) grains of mountain dew be good.

------ Instrumental Interbrewed ------

Sway head, bit whacked zonky cat, everclear smacked you but good,
You can't quit that maize, with it's head wrecked ways.
And ooo ooo ooo ooo (OH) brains soon gone to goo for good.

His head's wet sack, zonky cat, better cut back on the flu'ds,
You best quit those ways, with that rot gut maize,
And ooo ooo ooo ooo (OH) grains are gonna do you rude.

They head way past stoned, boy they gotta bend them arm,
Drinkin' that Iron City® boy, is going to make you fart.
But one can's OK, fill a cart then go (uh huh)
Hail to the hops and the wheat they grow.

Go get your Tic-Tac® zonky cat, fettered and jacked on your hood,
Now you'll spit for days in a drunk tank craze.
Ooo ooo ooo ooo (OH) chains are gonna wreck your mood.

Cops said count back, zonky cat,
Sayin' A-B-C-T ain't the alphabet.
He's like tryin' walk strolled with a severed spine,
You'll be fined for drink whisky (OHHH) as cops battle the crime.

Get whacked, zonky cat.
Get shacked. zonky cat,
Catch flack, Wooooooo!

No slack, zonky cat,
Get jacked, zonky cat,
You're sacked, Wooooooo!

Instrumental conclude with vocals of Get whacked - Get jacked - whooo! to fade

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   12

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Invisible Boy - January 15, 2008 - Report this comment
WOW...I think I got a buzz just reading this...and it's still before noon. Loved " fettered and jacked on your hood". This guy doesn't have a drinking problem. He drinks, falls problem. Great job.
Michael Pacholek - January 15, 2008 - Report this comment
I thought "Zonky Cat" was going to be about a cat that was fast asleep, a.k.a. "zonked," on something you needed and thus couldn't pick up. I've had similar problems: "Cat's In the Cradle (Literally)" and "The Mouse the Cat Lies Upon."
Dee Range - January 15, 2008 - Report this comment
Love drinking parodies, and this is as good as they come. Great lines and subs everywhere.
John Barry - January 15, 2008 - Report this comment
Fab that "Zonky" scat!
alvin - January 15, 2008 - Report this comment
one of the finest drinking parodies i've seen grace these pages...i howled nonstop
Meriadoc - January 15, 2008 - Report this comment
Mmmmm...reminds me - time to open a bottle of white wine tonight.
2Eagle - January 15, 2008 - Report this comment
You must have been whaked out on wowee sauce to write this.
PMS - January 15, 2008 - Report this comment
A 'shine-ing example of a drinking parody
littleRumCakes - January 15, 2008 - Report this comment
This is delightful: A. . . B . . C . . T ain't the alphabet!!! It is just so funny!! And I don't even touch wiskey ! someone should record this new parody!
Peregrin - January 15, 2008 - Report this comment
I raise a glass to your parody!
Matthias - August 25, 2008 - Report this comment
Your grammar still confuses me Guy. If you didn't syllabal match at much I would like your stuff a lot more, because you had some great lines like "A-B-C-T ain't the alphabet".
Guy - August 26, 2008 - Report this comment
Matt - Your comment sends a mixed message. You ding me for grammar but then high 5 the line "A-B-C-T ain't the alphabet"? This line would get dinged by any English Lit. major because of its use of "ain't". Now I'm confused as to what you mean by grammar. Anyway thanks for your comment.
Agrimorfee - August 26, 2008 - Report this comment
(ABC) I see where Matthias is coming from...because he's been lectured about grammar usage in his own parodies. But I have to say there's a fine line to this issue...when it's used to effect towards the humor of the parody (such as the case here), it's perfectly acceptable. I enjoyed reading/listening every line, and how you virtually covered every nuance of Elton's vocals for the rhymes as well as the pace. Very nice!
Guy - August 26, 2008 - Report this comment
Agri - I am happy to see that you have enjoyed my entry in the ABC4Z round. There is no way anyone can write a parody that everyone would like. Even Spaff gets one votes and sometimes some bad press in the comments section. Matt has his own ideas of how parody writing should be accomplished and I respect him for that. I was just jerking his chain with the "ain't" come back. I'm good with his comment because he is honest about it. The honesty makes me respect him. Thanks for the boost Ag.
Red Ant - August 31, 2008 - Report this comment
Technically excellent work, Guy. It's not a grammar issue here, more like some of the phrases you use... I've never encountered anyone who speaks like that. Being as free with syntax as you are allows quite a bit of options in a line, not the least of which includes getting all the stresses correct and placing rhymes in convenient spots. Sorta Shakespeareanesque really.
Below Average Dave - September 03, 2008 - Report this comment
(ABC) I think Red Ant caught exactly how I feel, I don't think grammar was a problem at all here. I love this idea though, and since anything I would say has already been said, I'll just leave it at 5's, and say good job.
Invisible Boy - September 03, 2008 - Report this comment
Still love it Guy. And, I have no problem at all with your Guyspeak. I think it's kinda cool.
"Instrumental Interbrewed" caught my eye tonight. Great Write !
littleCupCakes - September 04, 2008 - Report this comment
I second the motion, ~IB~ !! I love to hear ~GuySpecken~ ! zehr gut, Sir guy

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