Goodbye normal jeans.
Though I hardly wore you at all,
You had the nerve to hole yourself
While I inside you crawled

I crawled along the woodwork,
Stuck a splinter into my leg
And ripped you on the breadbin
While reaching for the jam.

And it seems to me you lived your life
In a pile on the floor,
Never going to the wardrobe -
Left behind the door.
And I would’ve liked to have thrown you,
But I was just a kid -
And mother wouldn’t let me, ‘cos they cost her 20 Quid.

Holeyness was tough -
The only role you ever played,
Dodgy wood created a super-scar,
And pain was the price I paid.
Even though you’re dyed,
Oh, the name still spoiled you -
All I ever had to say
Was that I’d rather go round in the nude.

And it seems to me you lived your life
In a bundle on the floor;
Never folded up and cared for like the others in the drawer.
And Mum would’ve liked to have sewn you
But I’d rather be rid -
Your style died out long before the weekend ever did.

Goodbye normal jeans,
Though I never liked you at all,
I had the grace to wear you once,
And do as I was told.
Goodbye normal jeans,
Only got you less than seven days ago,
But see you somewhat less than fashionable -
Just not ‘The In Thing’, you know?

And it seems to me you lived your life
In the corner of my room;
All screwed up beside my school socks
And my undies too.
And thank God I’ve never shown you
To the other kids,
The novelty wore out long before
Your label ever did.

And I never would’ve chose you
Ooh-oh ‘cos I was just a kid……

My interest ran out long before
Your colour ever did.