Man, I look real dopey in my rain gear
Stupid weather pattern's after me
You can say there is no Mother Nature
But right now, I find that hard to believe

No fan of the colour for one
I'm more of a moody bloke
So forced in neon yellow? Hate it
All your "it's for safety reasons", you can stow
When I heard the thunder rumble (ooh-ooh)
I sighed deeply, said "Ah, crap" (ooh-ooh)
Had a trip planned, can't avoid it
And nobody else to foist it on, I'm mad

Man, I look real dopey in my rain gear
I feel like a bloody canary
You can say there is no Mother Nature
But she's somewhere and laughing, I believe

Don't like wearing heavy plastic
Or whatever this stuff is
Rarely have to wear it at all
So I never bothered with the specifics
Well, at least it isn't windy (ooh-ooh)
Why the hell did I say that (ooh-ooh)?
Shouldn't tempt fate, what a bother
The wind shoves rain in my face and up my ass (yes, my ass)

Man, I look real dopey in my rain gear
And the reason has been yanked from me
You can say there is no Mother Nature
But she's a nasty bitch, that I believe

Boy, I wish that I was able
To hold my umbrella in (ah)
Which-damn-ever hand could handle
Both the strain and the inevitable wind
But I had to go and break it (ooh-ooh)
Didn't treat it very well (ooh-ooh)
Shook it way too hard to dry it
Now you know what my trip's for and why it's hell

Man, I look real dopey in my rain gear
I'm a grown-ass man but I look three
A-you can say there is no Mother Nature
But I'm square on her dartboard, I believe (what an asshole)
Man, I look real dopey in my rain gear
I can't drive, would soak the whole car seat
You can say there is no Mother Nature
A real vindictive monster, I believe

This is bullshit