You could be swimming across the Rhine,
Or shining those medals in your spare time.
Just smoke that bong, yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah, ew woo hoo.
Tell your Parents once more before you leave Baltimore,
Just smoke that bong.

You wanna go to parties and make new friends,
You promised that it wouldn't happen again,
Just smoke that bong, yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah, ew woo hoo.
Tell the public once more that your judgement was poor,
Just smoke that bong.

Just smoke that bong, Michael
Just smoke that bong, Michael
Just smoke that bong, Michael
Just smoke that bong.

When you got the munchies where did you go?
Were you jonesing for some cake and oreo's?
Just smoke that bong, yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah, ew woo hoo.
Tell your friends once more that pot smoking is a sport,
Just smoke that bong.

Now that picture caught you dead to rights,
I bet that Tony Tiger must be so psyched.
Just smoke that bong, yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah, ew woo hoo.
Tell Kellogs once more after they've shown you the door,
Just smoke that bong.

Just smoke that bong, Michael
Just smoke that bong, Michael
Just smoke that bong, Michael
Just smoke that bong.

You and that coed went and smoked some grass,
Someone with a camera caught you in the act.
Just smoke that bong, yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah, ew woo hoo.
Tell the public once more that your judgement was poor,
Just smoke that bong.

You won't be smoking or swimming today,
But at least you'll still be pitching for Subway.
Just smoke that bong, yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah, ew woo hoo.
Tell your friends once more pot smoking is your new sport.
Just smoke that bong bong bong bong bong bong.

Tell the Police once more before they close that cell door,
Just smoke that bong.